Sophia Petrillo: Leap year, full moon, the curse!
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Come on Ma, it's the 90s. Call it what it is: our monthly visitor.
Blanche Devereaux: Anything can happen on a leap year's full moon if you just believe.
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [clapping] Oh I do believe, I do believe in sluts!
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [hearing about their village witch] What "village"? I was born in Brooklyn.
Sophia Petrillo: Here's a newsflash, witches can fly.
Sophia Petrillo: I have to kiss a fool to save Dorothy from the curse.
Blanche Devereaux: So why don't you kiss Rose and get it over with?
Sophia Petrillo: Technically Rose isn't a fool, she's a simpleton.
Blanche Devereaux: What's the difference?
Sophia Petrillo: How can I explain it... Fools read Dear Abby, simpletons read Ann Landers. It's a fine line.
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: You invited 15 men and no women.
Blanche Devereaux: Dorothy I know what you're thinking, but Rose and Sophia will be here, you'll have somebody to talk to.
Sophia Petrillo: No fair, I had to talk to her the last time.
Rose: Men would rather pay for cupcakes.
Dorothy: Now, listen here, you little Swedish meatball! I... wait. You're actually talking about cupcakes aren't you?
Rose: You bet I'm talking about cupcakes. What were you talking about?
Rose: Wait a minute... Have you and Miles been... baking together?
Dorothy: No, of course not. I'd never do that to you.
[she picks up a coffee mug]
Rose: Because if I catch Miles with another woman in my kitchen, I'd...
[she angrily breaks it with her bare hand]
Blanche Devereaux: [angrily] Ooh I hate him, God do I hate him! Not only did he steal my necklace, but he betrayed my trust! Oh please, God, let him get caught, let him go to jail. Let him rot and die in some filthy cell with the rats gnawin' at his eyes!
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: You know, when you pray, the kitchen almost becomes a chapel.