Luke: [talking about the pink drink Emily created] God, that's terrible. It's like drinking a "My Little Pony".
Lorelai: Rory called.
Luke: I know! She called and yelled at me!
Lorelai: No, she called and yelled at me.
Luke: Yeah, but I'm the one who had to hear it. And she was loud! And she said "hell"; I never heard her say "hell", I didn't even know she knew how to say "hell". She was mad and she yelled and she said "hell".
Lorelai: [smiling] Yeah, but she called.
Luke: This is my least favorite door in the world.
Lorelai: What about Death's door?
Luke: The reception on the other side would be much warmer.
Lorelai: [about Rory's 21st birthday] We had plans.
Lorelai: We were gonna go to Atlantic City. We were gonna sit at a blackjack table at 11:59, we were gonna order martinis, and we were gonna be playing 21 when she turned twenty-one. And then hopefully we'd win, and we'd take our winnings and we'd buy 21 things. And then there was a thing about 21 guys that wouldn't really be appropriate anymore since the engagement, but it was a good plan. She probably doesn't even remember the plan.
Luke: She remembers the plan.
Lorelai: It wasn't like we talked about it every day. It was just something we thought of.
Luke: She remembers the plan.
Richard: She's having sex, Lorelai. She's having sex under my roof. I paid $40,000 to redecorate her sex house. I bought her a sex mattress. Her sex box springs. I provided everything she needs to waste her life.
Lorelai: Dad, Rory having sex is not your fault. Really, she was having sex way before the big renovation.
Richard: I feel so much better now.
Reverend Boteright: You know, Rory, being a young lady comes with many gifts. Your virtue, for example, is a gift, a precious gift, possibly the most precious gift you possess.
Rory: Uh huh...
Reverend Boteright: You want to give this gift very carefully. It is a gift you can only give to one man. Once you give it, it's gone, you cant re-gift it. If you give it away too soon, to the wrong man, then when the right one does come along, you have no gift to give... you'll have to buy him a sweater. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Reverend Boteright: Think long and hard about when and to whom you want to give the ultimate gift you have to give away.
Reverend Boteright: Yes.
Rory: Oh dear...
Reverend Boteright: Oh dear indeed.
Rory: Um, well, listen, Reverend, I really appreciate you taking the time out of what I assume is a busy day to come here and talk to me about... all of this, but I'm afraid the ultimate gift ship has sailed.
Reverend Boteright: What?
Rory: A while ago... it's probably in Fiji by now.
Sookie St. James: I can't believe Rory's turning 21. It seems like just yesterday she was crying because you told her Charlotte Bronte couldn't come to her sleepover because she's dead.
Rory: My mom and I have been planning for my 21st birthday since... well, my first memory is kindergarten, but I have a feeling she was talking about it before that. We had this whole big thing planned.
[discussing Rory's behavior]
Richard: Running around with Logan, joining the D.A.R., planning parties...
Emily Gilmore: What's wrong with joining the D.A.R.? We both agreed she needed a job.
Richard: Fundraisers and tea parties? It's frivolous and meaningless. She has more to do, more to be! I don't want that life for her!
Emily Gilmore: You mean my life. You don't want her to be me.
Lorelai: [Explaining her Halloween plans] I want to do a skit.
Lorelai: Yes, I want to be a mad scientist. I'm gonna come out in a blood-stained white lab coat and freaky makeup and big, giant, Don King kind of hairdo, and I'm going to turn the whole front yard into my laboratory.
Lorelai: Yes, I'm gonna have a huge electric chair and an operating table and test tubes and wires.
Luke: Sounds elaborate.
Lorelai: But you haven't heard the half of it, okay? And so I come out and I do mad scientist "banter", like, "Hey, who here is from Bellevue?" and "'Girl Interrupted'? Now that's my idea of a feel-good movie". I'll work on it. But anyway, after that, I'm gonna drag you out.
Lorelai: You're strapped in an electric chair, and I'm gonna throw the switch and totally electrocute you. And you're flailing around. We'll rig something where smoke and sparks shoot out of your nose. And then once you're dead, I'll throw you onto the operating table and I'll cut you open, and I pull link sausages out of you and throw them into the crowd.
Luke: That's it?
Lorelai: Well, I mean, we can take a bow or something, but, yeah, that's it.
Luke: Okay. Uh, just a couple of questions here. Once you've electrocuted me, and I'm dead, um, how exactly do I get to the operating table?
Lorelai: Huh. Good question. Maybe I can position the operating table like right near the electric chair so I can just flop you over onto it after you die.
Luke: Okay, let's say we work that out. Now I'm on the table. You're gonna cut me open with what?
Lorelai: A big, rusty saw.
Luke: And then you're gonna pull link sausages out of me.
Lorelai: Real slow and creepy like.
Luke: Okay, great. Last question. Uh, what are the odds of you getting me to do a skit where you electrocute me, cut me open, and pull link sausages out of me? 'Cause I'm thinking they're right up there with Pia Zadora making a big comeback.