"Gilmore Girls" Red Light on the Wedding Night (TV Episode 2001) Poster


Rory Gilmore: [as Lorelai keeps searching for sunscreen and other stuff to get in their spontaneous roadtrip] Mom, stop!

Lorelai Gilmore: What?

Rory Gilmore: Are you and Max getting married?

Lorelai Gilmore: [pauses] No.

Rory Gilmore: Why?

Lorelai Gilmore: Because I didn't want to try my wedding dress every night.

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Taylor Doose: Townspeople, we should all be proud of the new addition to our streets. I know many of you have wanted a traffic light and a crosswalk for many years...

Luke Danes: What?

Taylor Doose: And now, your dream has come true.

Luke Danes: It's like Hitler's Germany!

Taylor Doose: Luke!

Luke Danes: You're trying to brainwash us, Taylor. Telling us we want something that we don't, and not giving us any choice.

Lorelai Gilmore: Luke, shush! We're planning.

Luke Danes: I heard, and you're idiots if you don't eat first.

Taylor Doose: Everybody, let me segue into the informational portion of our gathering. If I can turn your attention to the pole here, you will see a yellow button with an instructional panel right above it.

Miss Patty: Oh my God. That's the biggest yellow button I've ever seen.

Taylor Doose: Now if you'll read the panel above the button, you'll learn how the system works.

Miss Patty: [reading the sign] To cross street, push yellow button, wait for walk signal. When signal reads WALK, step into street and proceed to the other side.

Luke Danes: It's written for morons.

Babette Dell: In big stupid letters too!

Morey Dell: I hate being infantilized.

Taylor Doose: Does no one here care about this fate of near accidents we have suffered over the past year?

Luke Danes: NEAR accidents. Meaning they didn't happen.

Taylor Doose: Just because they didn't happen doesn't mean that we shouldn't ward against them.

Luke Danes: There's lots of things that don't happen that we don't ward against.

Taylor Doose: Like?

Luke Danes: Like... everything.

Taylor Doose: So that everything doesn't happen here, meaning nothing happens?

Luke Danes: No, it's - It's not nothing happens. Stuff happens. It's that it... it's not everything that's... it's... Damn it, Taylor!

Taylor Doose: Ha!

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