Lorelai: I mean... a lady friend
Lorelai: A red hot mama
Lorelai: A big pretty dish of loving with a spoon made especially for you
Luke: Boy do I not feel good now.
Lorelai: Luke, Rachel is not the only woman in the world for you. You'll meet someone, someday - probably at a Timberland store, and you'll ask her out.
Lorelai: You'll pick her up, take her on a patented Luke Danes night of romance - juice bar followed by the batting cages - and then you'll ask her back to your apartment
Luke: Any amount of money if you stop right there.
Lorelai: You'll bring her back to your place , and lead her upstairs to the apartment door. You pause. Gaze into her eyes. The stage is set - fate is waiting!
Lorelai: You open the door and she sees... your teeny tiny apartment, one room and no closet space, and Jess' feet sticking up in the air because you NEVER DID GET RID OF THE BODY!
Luke: Stop please
Lorelai: And to make matters worse... she spots it! The single bed!
Luke: What's wrong with a single bed?
Lorelai: You know what they say.
Luke: No, what do they say?
Lorelai: Never ever date a guy who owns a single bed... it means he's not open to a commitment.
Lorelai: It says - there's no room in this life for anybody but me!
Luke: No... it says there's no room in this BED for anybody but me!
Lorelai: Well... ya see... that's not a whole lot better
[Looking for Rory's braclet that Dean made her]
Lorelai: Find anything?
Rory: Just grandma's pen.
Lorelai: Leave it there.
Lorelai: It makes life fun.
Luke: I just spent a hundred thousand dollars and it's all your fault!
Lorelai: Oh. Good.
Luke: I ran into Taylor at the market. I found out he owns the building that apartment was in.
Lorelai: No way.
Luke: That and several others in town.
Lorelai: So weird.
Luke: He is systematically buying up the town. He is gonna turn it into Taylorville where everyone wears cardigans and have the same grass height.
Lorelai: Do you want to sit
[interupted by Luke]
Luke: And then he told me he is gonna buy the building next to the diner , turn it into a plate shop for freaks who don't have enough brain power to collect stamps! I lost it!
Lorelai: I can't picture that.
Luke: I walked around in a blind rage. I was crazy. I bought one of those Belgian waffles with the ice cream dipped in chocolate.
Lorelai: You ate that?
Luke: No, I didn't eat it. I am upset, not suicidal! I just know I had to do something. I had your voice going round and round in my head.
Lorelai: Yeah it's kinda like the Small World Song.
Luke: [imitating Lorelai] "Take a chance Luke. Make a move Luke. Can't have a single bed Luke." So I bought the building!
Lorelai: You, you what?
Luke: I went to the bank, got a cashier's check, signed the papers and I bought the building. I am the building's owner. I own the building.
Lorelai: I heard. Okay don't worry, you can still get out of it. You can go back and tell them you lost your mind. Or I bet you could sell it to Taylor.
Lorelai: So relax. You can still get out of this, unless you don't want to get out of this.
Luke: Oh no, I wanna get out of this. Why would I not want to get out of this?
Lorelai: Oh well, owning that building gives you some options.
Lorelai: Like, you could expand Luke's if you wanted to. Or you could rent it to someone else. Someone else who might drive Taylor crazy.
Luke: Maybe I should think about this.
Lorelai: Sure, sleep on it.
Luke: Sleep on it, right.