- Lorelai Gilmore: Hey, you didn't wake me up.
- Rory Gilmore: I set the clock.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Yes, but see, the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall, giving me ample time to fall back to sleep; you, however, never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus ensuring the whole wake-up process!
- Lane Kim: [pause] I'm gonna get a soda. Anybody want anything?
- Rory Gilmore: Gum.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Yes. The night of my fourteenth birthday back, so I could right the green-hot-pant-roller-disco-outfit wrong. Ugh.
- Lane Kim: Coming right up.
- Paris Geller: Are you seriously gonna wear that? Those are *used* clothes!
- Louise Grant: Vintage, dear.
- Paris Geller: Filthy, darling.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Hey, I have kind of a crazy idea.
- Rory Gilmore: Those are never comforting words coming from you.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Hey, was Rachel pretty?
- Sookie St. James: What?
- Lorelai Gilmore: I'm just curious, was she pretty?
- Sookie St. James: She was pretty.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Like, what kind of pretty?
- Sookie St. James: What do you mean what kind of pretty?
- Lorelai Gilmore: I mean, like was she a Catherine Zeta-Jones kind of pretty or a Michelle Pfiffer-y pretty or...
- Sookie St. James: She was an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Really.
- Sookie St. James: Yup.
- Lorelai Gilmore: That's an intense kind of pretty.
- Sookie St. James: You're not kidding.
- Lorelai Gilmore: I never pictured Luke with an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty.
- Sookie St. James: No? Pictured him more with a Lorelai Gilmore kind of pretty?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Oh, the air up here must be very thin because you're delirious.
- Sookie St. James: And you're jealous.
- Lorelai Gilmore: What?
- Sookie St. James: You're jealous of Rachel.
- Lorelai Gilmore: You're accusing me of being jealous of a woman who dumped a man I'm not even interested in five years ago?
- Sookie St. James: Yes.
- Lorelai Gilmore: And you don't think that's crazy?
- Sookie St. James: Oh I DO think that's crazy.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Right, I'm not jealous.
- Sookie St. James: Yeah you are.
- Sookie St. James: Ok, you guys are gonna love me.
- Lorelai Gilmore: We already love you.
- Sookie St. James: No, I mean you're really gonna love me.
- Lorelai Gilmore: We do.
- Sookie St. James: Trust me, you guys are gonna so love me.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Ok, the love is starting to fade now, Sookie.
- Rory Gilmore: Okay, so what's the plan?
- Lane Kim: We'll go in and ask her if I can go to a play tomorrow night with you and Lorelai.
- Rory Gilmore: A play?
- Lane Kim: I think that's the safest word. Show or concert would be very bad.
- Rory Gilmore: What about saying it's a movie?
- Lane Kim: Too far from the truth - almost a lie.
- Rory Gilmore: But a play is not a lie?
- Lane Kim: Well, it's far enough away from the truth that it might work, but close enough to the truth that I think I can negotiate a purgatory stint if forced to.
- Rory Gilmore: Play it is.
- Rory Gilmore: Can I ask you a question?
- Paris Geller: Maybe.
- Rory Gilmore: What could you possibly see in Tristin?
- Paris Geller: You wouldn't understand.
- Rory Gilmore: Is it just that he's cute?
- Paris Geller: Partly.
- Rory Gilmore: 'Cause there are a lot of cute guys in the world.
- Paris Geller: Not like Tristin.
- Rory Gilmore: He's just such a jerk.
- Paris Geller: He's not always a jerk.
- Rory Gilmore: No?
- Paris Geller: No.
- Rory Gilmore: Okay. When is not a jerk?
- Paris Geller: I've known Tristin a really long time, okay? We've been in the same class since kindergarten.
- Rory Gilmore: Really?
- Paris Geller: Yes... and he has things in his life that are hard. His parents - not so great. We have that in common.
- Rory Gilmore: Okay.
- Paris Geller: He kissed me once.
- Rory Gilmore: He did?
- Paris Geller: In the 6th grade - on a dare.
- Rory Gilmore: How romantic.
- Paris Geller: You just don't know him like I do, okay?
- Rory Gilmore: Ok, I believe you. I just - I think maybe you could do better.
- Paris Geller: I know he's flirting with me to get to you, but at least he's flirting with me.