99: [worried] He's not gonna show up, he doesn't want to marry me.
Chief: Don't say that, 99, he'll be here, he must have stopped of for something on the way.
99's Mother: Of course darling, he probably stopped of at a bar for a drink.
99: At 10.30 in the morning?
99's Mother: Bums drink at any hour.
Maxwell Smart: [99's mother is at the door] Is she moving in with us already? We're not even married yet.
Jacoby: [trying to decypher the map on Smart's chest] This is a mountain.
Kohlman: That's a mole.
Jacoby: Well, it looks like a mountain to me.
Kohlman: I said it's a mole, stop trying to make a mountain out of a mole.
Chief: The guests are starting to ask questions.
99: Have they all arrived?
99's Mother: Everyone except the bum.
99: Well Chief, I guess you'd better go downstairs and tell them that the wedding is off.
Chief: Let's give the bum another few minutes... I mean Max.
Maxwell Smart: [on their wedding night] You know, 99, you have the prettiest shoulders I...
99: Oh, well you've seen them before, Max.
Maxwell Smart: Yes. But never without a holster.
Dr. Madre: I've been working on an experiment, alone, isolated, for I don't know how long, I've lost track of time. Three, might even be four years.
Dr. Madre: I think that man at the bar is after me.
Maxwell Smart: [Max looks over] That's a woman!
Dr. Madre: Then it's been four years.