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"Get Smart" Casablanca (TV Episode 1966) Poster

(TV Series)

(1966)

Quotes

Airport Policeman: Pardon, monsieur, are you perhaps an American tourist?

Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: Tremendous guess!

Airport Policeman: Well, you are dressed a little strangely. After all, the eh, temperature here is 101 degrees.

Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: Oh really? Well I find it quite chilly.

Airport Policeman: I find that hard to believe, monsieur.

Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: Would you believe comfortably cool?

Airport Policeman: I don't think so.

Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: How do the words "heat prostration" grab ya?

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Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: What am I going to get in your dressing room that I can't get here?

Agent 99: Me.

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Maxwell Smart: 13, what did you see?

Agent 13: [hiding in a locker chewing a sandwich and drinking milk] Nothing, I'm on my lunch break.

Maxwell Smart: A man has just been murdered, doesn't that mean anything to you?

Agent 13: Not from twelve to one.

Maxwell Smart: Listen, 13, if you don't straigten up and fly right, I'm gonna see to it that on your next assignment you're put inside of an incenerator.

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Bubinski: [Bubinsky the cabbie accuses Max of being the Choker] He's got killer's eyes!

Maxwell Smart: I have not!

Chief: That will be all, Mr. Bubinsky.

Bubinski: Sure you don't wanna cab?

Chief: No.

Bubinski: How 'bout you, killer?

[Max raises his fist]

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Maxwell Smart: Well if there's anything I don't need at this time Chief, it's a restfit. I personaly want to avenge the death of my very good and dear friend doctor... whathisname.

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Maxwell Smart: [Max has been forced to take a vacation] Ok Chief, Ok. But just remember this: you'll be left all alone without my experience and know-how. You'll be making hundreds of decisions without my advice.

Chief: And loving it.

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Chief: Oh and one more thing, 99. The man you're dealing with is a deadly assasin. Don't let the fact that he looks like Max slow your reflexes. If he makes one questionable move...

# 99: I'll know it's not Max.

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Maxwell Smart: [impersonating Humphrey Bogart] Look, buster, you know what's gonna happen if Sophia sees me talking to you? He's gonna slap my teeth out, then kick me in the stomach for mumbling. Now get lost.

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Maxwell Smart: Play it again, Sam.

Maxwell Smart: My name ain't Sam.

Maxwell Smart: Don't confuse me, I'm new in Casablanca.

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# 99: What are you looking for?

Maxwell Smart: Well, I could say the Maltese Falcon, but you'd never believe me.

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# 99: Max, you're alright!

Maxwell Smart: Yes. He fell for the old false neck trick.

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Chief: This false neck is an ingenious device, Max. Who made it for you?

Maxwell Smart: The ingenious device department, Chief.

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Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: Doctor. Don't move a muscle.

Dr. Pliny: Why not?

Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: That's a fountain pen you're holding.

Dr. Pliny: You security men don't miss a thing, do you?

Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: All public buildings are supplied with ballpoint pens, not fountain pens. It takes a trained eye like mine to detect a thing like this. One tap of this point and you could have been blown to bits. Now watch carefully while I remove the detonator.

[He starts to take the pen apart]

Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: Now, do you know what we're going to find in this rubber tube?

[Ink drips out of the tube onto the documents on the desk]

Dr. Pliny: [who's unimpressed by 86's deductions] Ink?

Maxwell Smart - Agent 86: Right. We'd better get out of here fast, because that ink might activate the paper.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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