- Maxwell Smart: [there's a knock on the door] I'll get it, 99.
- Agent 99: Be sure to get the password, Max.
- Maxwell Smart: I will.
- [crosses room to get to the door]
- Maxwell Smart: Yes?
- Chief: [behind door] Knock, knock.
- Maxwell Smart: Who's there?
- Chief: Me.
- Maxwell Smart: Me who?
- Chief: Me, the Chief.
- Maxwell Smart: You mean to tell me that all those names you've been giving me for the last hour are names of babies?
- Agent 99: But of course.
- Maxwell Smart: But I thought they were names of streets, I made a map out of them.
- Agent 99: [laughs] How silly.
- Maxwell Smart: Well it may be silly, but it works. According to this map, I can get you to the hospital in less than ten minutes flat!
- Maxwell Smart: Simon the likeable. Who's he?
- Chief: He's KAOS' most irresistible agent. A man so unassuming, so modest, so sweet and warm that you take one look at him, and you like him.
- Waitress: I get off at three o'clock.
- Simon the Likeable: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm busy this afternoon. Maybe, some other time.
- Waitress: There won't be another time, I'm gonna kill myself.
- Simon the Likeable: Oh, don't do that.
- Waitress: Ok, whatever you say.