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"Get Smart" A Tale of Two Tails (TV Episode 1968) Poster

(TV Series)

(1968)

Quotes

Maxwell Smart: Agent 99 happens to be one of Control's shadowing experts. As a matter of fact, she won the Lamont Cranston Award three years in a row.

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Maxwell Smart: The Cone of Silence was invented by a professor Cohn?

Chief: That's right.

Maxwell Smart: [looks up at the CoS] That's funny, doesn't look it.

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Maxwell Smart: Yes, 99, but there's an old Chinese proverb that goes: life is like a pair of chopsticks. If you grab them... eh, you, eh... No, that's not it. Let me see... Ehm... Life is like a shirt. If you lose your buttons, you... No, that isnt it either. Let's see... I've got it! Life is a kumquat.

# 99: That's it?

Maxwell Smart: Life isn't a kumquat?

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Chief: [on phone] If you like you can take one of those new comb phones with you.

# 99: [on one of those new comb phones] Oh, that would be terrific, it's a marvelous device. Which one of our agents developed it?

Chief: Well as a matter of fact, 99, it was my idea.

# 99: Whatever gave you the idea of turning a comb into a phone?

Chief: Well, 99, what else am I gonna do with a comb?

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Maxwell Smart: [Max is a substitute teacher in a Control class] Caruso, you ought to know better than to bring an outsider into this classroom.

Lundy, Agent 198: He does it every day and every day she gets thrown out.

Maxwell Smart: Well why do you do that?

Caruso, Agent 199: I like to watch her leave.

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Chief: Larabee, I need a couple of men for surveilance duty. Who's available? No, no wait a minute, on second thought, I'll look in the Control file of the graduating class.

Larabee: Why the, eh, Control graduating class, Chief?

Chief: Because KAOS knows what all our agents look like. Those Control bubblegum cards we came out with last year backfired.

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Maxwell Smart: So, the old flat iron in the hot coals trick, eh? Well my friend, two can play at that game!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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