Maxwell Smart: Agent 99 happens to be one of Control's shadowing experts. As a matter of fact, she won the Lamont Cranston Award three years in a row.
Maxwell Smart: The Cone of Silence was invented by a professor Cohn?
Chief: That's right.
Maxwell Smart: [looks up at the CoS] That's funny, doesn't look it.
Maxwell Smart: Yes, 99, but there's an old Chinese proverb that goes: life is like a pair of chopsticks. If you grab them... eh, you, eh... No, that's not it. Let me see... Ehm... Life is like a shirt. If you lose your buttons, you... No, that isnt it either. Let's see... I've got it! Life is a kumquat.
# 99: That's it?
Maxwell Smart: Life isn't a kumquat?
Chief: [on phone] If you like you can take one of those new comb phones with you.
# 99: [on one of those new comb phones] Oh, that would be terrific, it's a marvelous device. Which one of our agents developed it?
Chief: Well as a matter of fact, 99, it was my idea.
# 99: Whatever gave you the idea of turning a comb into a phone?
Chief: Well, 99, what else am I gonna do with a comb?
Maxwell Smart: [Max is a substitute teacher in a Control class] Caruso, you ought to know better than to bring an outsider into this classroom.
Lundy, Agent 198: He does it every day and every day she gets thrown out.
Maxwell Smart: Well why do you do that?
Caruso, Agent 199: I like to watch her leave.
Chief: Larabee, I need a couple of men for surveilance duty. Who's available? No, no wait a minute, on second thought, I'll look in the Control file of the graduating class.
Larabee: Why the, eh, Control graduating class, Chief?
Chief: Because KAOS knows what all our agents look like. Those Control bubblegum cards we came out with last year backfired.