Angie Lopez: I need comfort food.
George Lopez: Too late, there's a house full of teenage girls, all that's left is jelly and taco shells.
Vic Palermo: [on the phone with is wife] No, don't apologize to me. Apologize to God for walking out on 40 years of marriage!
[throws the phone away, turns around and sees George]
George Lopez: [looks at his beer can] WOW! This doesn't taste like one calorie!