Angie Lopez: Well, George, I do have time now because I'm not working.
George Lopez: But home-schooling, Angie, that's a big commitment. Remember that special moment every morning when Carmen finally leaves for school and you say, "Thank God, she's gone"? You won't have that anymore!
George Lopez: [to Angie] You know what you always say to me when I'm down? A door may have closed, but a window just opened.
Angie Lopez: Am I really that annoying?
George Lopez: Let's not go there while you're down.
George Lopez: You never helped me with my homework.
Benny: That's because it took you forever to read one page!
George Lopez: I was dyslexic!
Benny: Excuses! George, I did the alphabet backwards with the cop's flashlight in my eyes and you could not even find out that Frog & Toad were friends!
George Lopez: Not even professionals could teach Carmen. They're thinking of changing the slogan from "No Child Left Behind" to "She's Not Watching, Run!"
Max Lopez: [to Angie] Why are you trying on your dress now?
Angie Lopez: I'm trying it on once a week to remind myself not to eat anything that tastes good.
Max Lopez: [trying to zip it] I guess breakfast tasted good.
George Lopez: Sure, Angie. I ruined our string of bad luck with our dyslexic son, our runaway daughter, and my mother who shows no sign of aging or disease whatsoever...
[Benny walks by coughing]
Benny: Boy, where'd that come from?
George Lopez: A window just opened!
George Lopez: My daughter's gonna be class president, valedictorian, prom queen, everything she can't be with those other kids around.
Carmen Lopez: [to Angie] So, now you're accusing me of cheating? This is hell! I can't take it anymore! There's no breaks, no one to talk to, it's just you all day! Have you ever spent 8 hours with yourself? No wonder Dad always hides in the garage.
George Lopez: I'm not hiding. I'm working.
Carmen Lopez: It doesn't take 3 years to build a birdhouse.
George Lopez: It does if you're doing it southern plantation style.