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Quotes

Dr. Rick Dagless: [talking to mother about hospitalized son] He's a good kid, but you've got to keep him off the smack otherwise this will keep happening. How about you find yourself a husband, get some stability in your life.

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Dr Liz Asher: [talking about a patient that has turned green] Apparently she was in for a routine operation to get her toe shortened which was really long like a finger, the next thing she knew this happened. All in all you could say that she's a little off color.

[Thorton, Liz, and Dagless all laugh]

Dr Lucien Sanchez: [shouts] You shut your mouth Liz!

Dr. Rick Dagless: No you shut your mouth Sanch, that was funny. Look, if we lose our sense of humor in this place we might as well all go and kill ourselves.

Dean Learner: Dag's right. After all, the reason I got into medicine in the first place was for the laughs. That and the pussy, and that dried up ten years ago if you pardon the expression.

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Garth Marenghi: The broccoli had gone. But the hurt remained.

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Garth Marenghi: With this show, I wanted people to laugh and cry... and shit themselves all at the same time.

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Thornton Reed: [after firing a shotgun to break up a bar brawl] Knock it off you two, this is a hospital!

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Padre: [to Dr. Rick Dagless] You're the most sensitive man I know, and I know God.

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Padre: [opens arms to give Dag a hug] Come on, come to Padre, embrace the infinite.

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Garth Marenghi: I've always loved the great tragedies, King Lear, The Poseidon Adventure, Superman 2.

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Thorton Reed: I've been there hombre, when I heard my wife died I could barely finish my lunch.

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Dr Liz Asher: I guess being told I couldn't get a chicken supper was the straw that broke this camel's back. It was unprofessional and girlish. It won't happen again.

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Dean Learner: If he gets word of this my arse is grass and he's got a lawnmower if you know what I mean?

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Dr. Rick Dagless: I'm finding food a real bore at the moment.

Dr Lucien Sanchez: What I do is sometimes get a tin of soup, heat it up, poach an egg in it, serve that with a pork pie sausage roll.

Dr. Rick Dagless: I'll get a Wimpy.

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Padre: If you need me I'll be right here in the vestry, if not I'll be out in the jeep.

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Dr. Rick Dagless: What's this?

Linda: A dreamcatcher

Dr. Rick Dagless: What's a dreamcatcher?

Linda: It's like a wind chime.

Dr. Rick Dagless: Then why didn't you say wind chime?

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Dean Learner: Garth is the most significant artist that I've worked with and I've worked with Lulu and four other people, so were talking crème de la crème.

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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