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"Futurama" The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings (TV Episode 2003) Poster

Quotes

Bender: [singing, reading from a dictionary] "The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention." / Now that *is* irony!

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Fry: My hands! My horrible human hands! Whoa! And what'd you do to my nails?

The Robot Devil: I cleaned them.

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[last lines]

Turanga Leela: Don't stop playing, Fry. I want to hear how it ends.

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The Robot Devil: This opera is as lousy as it is brilliant.

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The Robot Devil: Your lyrics lack subtility! You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!

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Bender: Sure, I can help you, but we might have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil, and by "devil", I mean Robot Devil, and by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.

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[Robot Devil appears]

Bender: What up?

Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Oh. Well it so happens that I'm in the mood to make a deal with you.

Bender: Forget it. You can't tempt me.

Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Really? There's nothing you want?

Bender: Hmm. I forgot you could tempt me with things I want.

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Fry: [singing] Destiny has cheated me / By forcing me / to decide upon / The Woman that I idolize / And the hands of an, Automaton /... Without these hands / I can't complete / The opera that was captivating her / But if I keep them / And she marries him / Then he probably won't / Want me dating her...

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[during Fry's opera]

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I can't believe the devil is so unforgiving.

Dr. Zoidberg: I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!

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Hedonism Bot: Less reality, more fantasy. Resume the opera.

Fry: But I can't play anymore.

Dr. Zoidberg: Yes, you can! The music was in your heart, not your hands.

[Fry plays off key, everyone boos]

Dr. Zoidberg: Your music's bad, and you should feel bad!

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Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [singing] I will marry her now and confine her to Hell / How droll! How droll! / Where Styx is a river, and not just a band / Though they'll play the reception if all goes as planned / Unless, Fry, you surrender... my hands!

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[while watching an actor playing him in Fry's Opera]

Bender: I don't remember ever fighting Godzilla... But that is so what I would have done!

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Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Hello, Fry. Muahahahaha! Just dropped by to make sure you're as happy with our little deal as I am... oh, give me back my hands! These things are always touching me in... places.

Fry: Heheheh, yeah, they get around.

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Leela: I've been a fool. A fully justified, prudent fool.

[touches Fry's hands]

Leela: Aaah! They're so cold!

Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [off screen] And yet hell is so hot! Ahh ha ha hah!

Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [off screen] Can I have my hands back now?

Fry: No!

Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [off screen] You're not nice!

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Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [Robot Devil jumps out of the refrigerator] Bender! What a surprise! For you. Finding me in the refrigerator.

Bender: Well, at least I don't have the hiccups any more, what's up?

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Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Your lyrics lack subtlety! You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!

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Hedonism Bot: Oh sirrah! A *man* writing an opera about a *woman*? How delightfully absurd!

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Hedonism Bot: Ah, Fry, congratulations. Your latest performance was as delectable as dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams.

Fry: Thank you, sir. That's exactly what I was going for.

Hedonism Bot: You were the sole diversion in what has been a pale and unamusing season, and so I would fain commission you write an opera.

Fry: But I've never written an opera.

Hedonism Bot: And I've never heard one. Still, if you can keep me amused through the overture I shall consider it a smashing success.

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TV Advertisement: Yes, now you can hear holophonor virtuoso Philip Fry play 900 of his classic themes in your own home on this two-record set. That's over 30 minutes of music for only $14.99.

Dr. Zoidberg: Only $14.99 for a two-record set. Two records! Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're becoming a crafty consumer! Hello? I'll take eight!

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Announcer: Please take your seats for the second act.

Hedonism Bot: But I'm not done vomiting.

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Bender: Wow, your kid is great. How hard did you say you had to hit him?

Mrs. Mellonger: Well, fairly hard.

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Hedonism Bot: Let us cavort like the Greeks of old!

[lowers voice]

Hedonism Bot: You know the ones I mean.

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Bender: You know what always cheers me up? Laughing at other people's misfortune. Hahaha!

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Fry: At last, I have the power to make Leela love me!

[the Devil's hands start strangling Fry]

Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Oh, sorry. That'll wear off in a couple of days.

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Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete.

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Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: [after Bender's airhorn deafens Leela] How delightfully ironic.

Bender: It's not ironic, it's just mean. Take this!

[blows horn, but it falters]

Beelzebot, The Robot Devil: Out of aerosol. Also ironic.

Bender: Oh, yeah? Well, bite my shiny, metal...

[realizes he gave up his crotch plate]

Bender: Ohhh, noooooo!

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Reverend Preacherbot: By the power vested in me by the state of New New York...

Fry: No! Stop! Take my hands, you evil... metal... dork!

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[last line of the series]

Leela: Don't stop playing, Fry. I want to see how it ends.

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TV Annoucement: Yes, now you can hear holophonor virtuoso Philip Fry play 900 of his classic themes in your own home on this two-record set. That's over 30 minutes of music for only $14.99.

Dr. Zoidberg: Only $14.99 for a two-record set. Two records! Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're becoming a crafty consumer! Hello? I'll take eight!

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Hedonism Bot: Oh sirrah! A *man* writing an opera about a *woman*? How deliciously absurd!

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Fry: [singing] Destiny/ has cheated me/ By forcing me/ to decide upon/ The Woman that I idolize/ Or the hands of an Automaton/... Without these hands/ I can't complete/ The opera that/ was captivating her/ But if I keep them/ And she marries him/ Then he probably won't/ Want me dating her...

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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