1 of 72 Episodes | Next

Memorable quotes for
"Futurama" Space Pilot 3000 (1999)

[Fry has woken up 1000 years into the future and met Leela]
Fry: [gasps] Is that blimp accurate?
Leela: Yep. It's December 31st, 2999.
Fry: My god, a million years...

---

[first lines]
Fry: [offscreen] Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

---

[Fry and Leela meet]
Fry: Can I ask you a question?
Leela: As long as it's not about my eye.
Fry: Uhh...
Leela: Is it about my eye?
Fry: Sort of.
Leela: [sighs] Just ask the question.
Fry: What's with the eye?
Leela: I'm an alien.
Fry: [excited] Cool, an alien. Has your race taken over the Earth?
Leela: No, I just work here.

---

Bender: You really want a robot for a friend?
Fry: Yeah, ever since I was six!
Bender: Well, all right. But I don't want anyone to think we're robosexual or anything, so if anyone asks, you're my debugger.

---

Fry: I've got no home, no family...
Bender: No friends.

---

Fry: What if I don't want to be a delivery boy?
Leela: Then you'll be fired...
Fry: Fine.
Leela: ...out of a cannon, into the sun.

---

Suicide Booth Recording: You are now dead. Thank you for using Stop and Drop, America's favorite Suicide Booth since 2008.

---

URL: I'm gonna get 24th century on his ass.

---

URL: If they try to take off, give 'em an ass full of laser.

---

[Fry drops Nixon, spilling his head on the floor]
Richard Nixon's Head: [angry] That's it. You just made my list.

---

[after escaping a suicide booth, Fry and Bender are in a bar, Bender is telling Fry about his life]
Bender: I'm a bender. I bend girders, that's all I'm programmed to do.
Fry: Were you any good?
Bender: Are you kidding? I was a star. I could bend a girder to any angle. 30 degrees, 32 degrees, you name it. 31... But I couldn't go on living once I found out what the girders were for.
Fry: What for?
Bender: Suicide booths.

---

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [after taking a DNA test with Fry] By God I am your nephew! This is absolutely incredible!
Bender: Can we have some money, now?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh my no.

---

Fry: Wow, a real live robot! Or is that just some sort of cheesy New Year's costume?
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!
Fry: Doesn't look so shiny to me.
Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag!

---

Fry: Why would a robot need to drink?
Bender: I don't *need* to drink, I can quit any time I want.

---

Fry: I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.

---

Leela: He's just a nobody who doesn't want to be a delivery boy. I'd rather not force it on him.
Ipgee: Well, too bad, because it's your job, whether you like it or not. And it's my job to make you do your job, whether I like it or not. Which I do. Very much. Now get back to work!
[Leela leaves grumbling]
Ipgee: Life is good.

---

Fry: My Lord. What is this place?
Bender: The decaying ruins of old New York. Welcome home, buddy.

---

Bender: From now on, I can bend what I want, when I want, who I want.

---

Bender: We can hide in here. It's free on Tuesdays.

---

Leela: You guys were totally out of control.
Smitty: It's our job. We're peace officers.

---

[Fry is with Bender in a suicide booth, thinking it's a telephone booth]
Suicide Booth Recording: Pleas select mode of death. Quick and painless, or slow and horrible?
Fry: Yes, I'd like to make a collect call.
Suicide Booth Recording: You have selected slow and horrible.
Bender: Good choice.

---

Fry: Look, I don't understand this world, but you obviously do, so I give up. If you really think I should be a delivery boy, then I will.
[he holds out his hand for Leela to implant the occupation chip; instead, she removes hers]
Fry: Your chip. What are you doing?
Leela: Quitting.
Fry: Why?
Leela: Because I've always wanted to. I just never realized it until I met you.

---

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Would you three by chance be interested in joining my new spaceship crew?
Bender: New crew? Well, what happened to the old crew?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh, those poor sons of bi... But that's not important.

---

Fry: My God, it's the future. My parents. My co-workers. My girlfriend. I'll never see any of them again.
[pause]
Fry: Yahoo!

---

Fry: Wait a second. You're a bender, right. We could escape if you would just bend the bars.
Bender: Dream on, skintube! I'm only programmed to bend for constructive purposes. What do I look like, a debender?
Fry: Who cares what you're programmed to do? If someone programmed you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?
Bender: I'll have to check my program.
[pause]
Bender: Yep.

---

Leonard Nimoy: Welcome to the Head Museum. I'm Leonard Nimoy.
Fry: Spock? Hey, do the thing!
[does Vulcan salute]
Leonard Nimoy: I don't do that anymore.
Fry: This is unbelievable! What do you heads do all day?
Leonard Nimoy: We share our wisdom with those who seek it. It's a life of quiet dignity.
Caretaker: Feeding time!
[Caretaker drops food flakes on jar; Nimoy nibbles at them like a goldfish]

---

Leela: Come on, he's just a dumb kid from the stupid ages.
Smitty: Keep your big nose out of this, eyeball.
Leela: No one makes fun of my nose!

---

Terry: [dramatically] Welcome to the world of tomorrow!
Lou: Do you always have to say it like that?
Terry: Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called showmanship?

---

Fry: This is my old neighborhood. This brings back so many memories.
Bender: Keep 'em to yourself, pops.

---

Fry: Are we going to fly all over space, fighting monsters and teaching alien women how to love?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: If by that you mean delivering cargo, then yes. It's a little home business I started to fund my research.
Fry: Cool. What's my job gonna be?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: You're gonna make sure the cargo reaches its destination.
Fry: So, I'm a delivery boy?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Exactly.
Fry: All right! I'm a delivery boy!

---

Fry: Wow, a real live robot! Or is that some kind of fake costume?
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!
Fry: It doesn't look that shiny.
Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag.

---

Bender: Well, it was nice meeting you Fry. I'm gonna go kill myself.
Fry: Wait, you're the only friend I have!
Bender: You really want a robot for a friend?
Fry: Yeah, ever since I was six.
Bender: Well, all right, but I don't want anybody thinking we're robosexuals so if anyone asks, you're my debugger.

---

Related Links

Plot summary	Plot keywords	Parents Guide
User comments	Trivia	Goofs
Main details	IMDb quotes browser	Search quotes section
Browse titles with quotes by letter    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Other