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"Futurama" I Dated a Robot (TV Episode 2001) Poster

(TV Series)

(2001)

Quotes

[Bender is angry at Fry for dating a robot]

Bender: Stay away from our women! You've got metal fever, boy! Metal fever!

[George Michael's head has been kidnapped]

George Michael's Head: Please pick me up before you go-go?

Lucy Liu robot: I'll always remember you, Fry...

Lucy Liu robot: [monotone voice] MEMORY DELETED.

Lucy Liu-bot: You're cute!

Fry: No, you are!

Lucy Liu-bot: No, you!

Fry: No, you!

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh dear, she's stuck in an infinite loop and he's an idiot! Oh well, that's love for you, I guess.

[at the edge of the universe, Fry sees alternative versions of himself and his friends on the other side]

Fry: Far out! So there really is an infinite number of universes?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: No, just the two.

Fry: Oh, well. I guess that's enough.

Leela: Bender, this is Fry's decision. And he made it wrong, so it's time for us to interfere in his life.

Leela: Hey, you know what might be a hoot?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: No! Why would I know that?

Leela: Let's take the rest of the morning off and take Fry to do everything he ever wanted to do.

Fry: [Alluringly] Everything?

Leela: Except that.

Trek Fan #1: No way! Kirk could kick Picard's ass!

Trek Fan #2: Yeah? At least Picard had the guts to admit he was bald!

Trek Fan #1: What? You take that back!

[the city is being attacked by Lucy Liu robots]

Captain Zapp Brannigan: Now there's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes.

Lucy Liu robot: Oh, Fry, I love you more than the moon, the stars, the...

[monotone]

Lucy Liu robot: POETIC IMAGE #36 NOT FOUND.

Narrator: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.

Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven!

[wins again]

Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in Hell!

Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!

[unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]

Clyde Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!

Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!

[pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection indeed looks like Hitler]

Clyde Smith: No!

[turns to a woman sitting next to him]

Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!

[the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]

Clyde Smith: Aah!

Bender: Eh, saw it coming.

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[Fry has purchased a robotic Lucy Liu]

Fry: Did you hear that? She likes me.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well Duh, she's programmed to like you.

Fry: But this is Lucy Liu, perhaps the only good actress of the 20th century. She's more then just a piece of software.

Lucy Liu robot: Would you like to take a moment to register me?

Fry: Hmm, not right now.

Lucy Liu robot: [tussling Fry's hair] I'll remind you later, you hot stud you.

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Lucy Liu robot: I am Lucy Liu. Give me your spines.

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Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh, dear, I should have shown him "Electrogonorrhea: the noisy killer" instead.

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Bender: What is the world coming to? That Fry is a sicko poivert, I tell ya! Dating a robot... it's an attrocimacy!

Leela: But Fry is our friend, Bender.

Bender: Ah, geez! Would you stifle there, meatbag?

Leela: You stifle, Bender!

Dr. Zoidberg: Hooray! Finally, you're standing up to him.

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[a "herd" of Lucy Liu robots are destroying New New York]

Captain Zapp Brannigan: That's a wave of destruction that's easy on the eyes!

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Leela: All right, Liu. Time to kick your frosty, well-toned ass.

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Dr. Zoidberg: [Fry wants to visit the edge of the universe] It's funny, you live in the universe, but you never get to do this things until someone comes to visit.

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Auctioneer: Are there no further bids for this exquisite galaxy? Sold! To the being of inconceivable horror!

Being of Inconceivable Horror: Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[pause]

Being of Inconceivable Horror: Will a money order be OK?

Auctioneer: Yes.

Being of Inconceivable Horror: MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

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Fry: How can you guys be so blasé? Here we are in the year three-hundred-or-so, yet you're just sitting around like it's the boring time I came from.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Boring? Wasn't that the period when they cracked the human genome, and boy bands roamed the earth?

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Lucy Liu: [at a theater showing one of the Charlie's Angel movies] Let's hide in here. It'll add to my box office gross.

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Nappster Salesman: Welcome to Nappster. Let's see what celebrities we've got in stock. May I interest you in Gwyneth Paltrow?

Fry: No, I read in Newsweek that she drinks human blood.

Nappster Salesman: Then, uh, how about Cleopatra, whose beauty destroyed mighty empires?

Fry: I'd prefer someone from the era of shaved armpits. Do you have anything with more of a Lucy Liu feel to it?

Nappster Salesman: Nah, nothing like that, though we do have Lucy Liu. Only woman ever to be named People magazine's Sexiest Woman of the Year twice, in 2003 and again in 2063.

Fry: I'd like the 2003 model, please.

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Bender: Who's in charge of this dump?

Nappster Owner: That'd be me. If you're an investor, you can dump your money in the hole there.

Bender: Listen, you fat internet nerd!

Nappster Owner: Listening.

Bender: Your company promotes wrong love. If you don't shut down right now, the only thing wired about you will be your jaw!

Nappster Owner: You can't shut us down. The internet is about the free exchange and sale of other people's ideas. We've done nothing wrong.

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Lucy Liu: Fry, when you downloaded her without my permission, you stole my image, and in the end, that's all I really have. That and the largest gold nugget in the world, one mile in diameter.

Fry: But I just downloaded her because I love you.

Lucy Liu: If you love the real Lucy Liu, and not just what you've seen in movies, genre-straddling lawyer shows, and kick-ass articles in People magazine, you'll blank out that robot.

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Fry: I just saw something incredibly cool! A big, floating ball that lit up with every color of the rainbow, plus some new ones that were so beautiful I fell to my knees and cried.

Amy Wong: Was it out in front of Discount Shoe Outlet?

Fry: Yeah.

Amy Wong: They have a college kid wear that to attract customers.

Fry: Well, I don't care if it was some dork in a costume. For one brief moment, I felt the heartbeat of creation, and it was one with my own.

Amy Wong: Big deal.

Bender: We all feel like that all the time. You don't hear us gassing on about it.

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Professor Hubert Farnsworth: On to the internet you go.

Bender: And while you're there, pick me up a few credit card numbers.

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Narrator: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.

Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven!

[wins again]

Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in HELL!

Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!

[unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]

Clyde Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!

Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!

[Pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection indeed looks like Hitler]

Clyde Smith: No!

[turns to a woman sitting next to him]

Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!

[the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]

Clyde Smith: A-a-ah!

Man (Sebastian Cabot): Saw it coming.

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[Bender is angry at Fry for dating a robot]

Bender: Stay away from our women. You've got metal fever, boy. Metal fever.

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[Fry has purchased a robotic Lucy Liu]

Fry: Did you hear that? She likes me.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well Duh, she's programmed to like you.

Fry: But this is Lucy Liu, perhaps the only good actress of the 20th century. She's more than just a piece of software.

Lucy Liu robot: Would you like to take a moment to register me?

Fry: Hmm, not right now.

Lucy Liu robot: [tussling Fry's hair] I'll remind you later you hot stud you.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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