Morgan Proctor: Regarding last Monday's delivery, why was it 3 days behind schedule?
Leela: Well, first we got lost, then Fry got his head stuck in a crater.
Fry: [sadly] I thought it would fit...
Morgan Proctor: Naturally I have to assign someone to fill in for Hermes while he's gone. I assign me. I accept. Welcome aboard.
Hermes Conrad: Requisition me a beat.
Leela: I'm having a poker game tonight with some of my old cryogenics lab coworkers. Would any of you like to join?
Bender: I don't know. I only gamble with chumps.
Fry: I'll play.
Bender: I'm in!
Ipgee: Oh, my various gods! X-ray specs!
Bender: I swear those are prescription. I need them for reading stuff... on the other side of stuff.
Fry: Jamaican? I thought you were some kind of outer space potato man.
Hermes Conrad: [a letter comes in on the mail tube] Great gorilla of Manilla! A letter from the Central Bureaucracy.
Hermes Conrad: "Attention, Hermes Conrad. You are about to receive a letter from the Central Bureaucracy."
[Another letter comes in]
Hermes Conrad: [Shocked] Oh, my God! It's from the Central Bureaucracy!
Hermes Conrad: Sweet someting of... someplace.
Fry: I'm sick of you and your bureaucracy!
[tosses the stuff on Morgan's desk]
Morgan Proctor: Dirty boy! Dirty boy!
[jumps on Fry and starts making out]
Morgan Proctor: Why isn't this jacket in alphabetical order?
Morgan Proctor: The zipper. It should be at the bottom.
Hermes Conrad: Ah, the last form of the day. Welcome to Stampytown. Population: five.
[stamps form five times]
Hermes Conrad: And now for the finishing touch.
[shreds forms; they are recycled into new forms and placed in the inbox]
Hermes Conrad: Ah, the circle of bureaucracy.
Professor Farnsworth: You can't just waltz into the Central Bureaucracy. It's a tangled web of red tape and regulations. I've never been, but a friend of mine went completely mad trying to find the washroom there.
Leela: Then we'll need a guide, someone who's been there before.
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I've been there. Lots of times.
Hermes Conrad: [throwing mail tubes into various cubbies]
Dr. Zoidberg: [singing] They said that I shouldn't be a surgeon !
Dr. Zoidberg: [singing] They po-po'd my Electric Frankfurter!
Leela: [singing] They said I shouldn't fly with just one eye!
[She gets hit in the eye with a mail tube]
Bender: [slow and lackluster] I am Bender please insert girder.
Bender: I am Bender, please insert girder.
Morgan Proctor: Why is there yogurt in this hat?
Fry: I can explain. See it used to be milk, and... well, time makes fools of us all!
Fry: But, but Bender need brain for... smart making!
Hermes Conrad: Not so fast! While I was filing, I came upon a certain document filed by a certain Morgan Proctor. Form B, notification of romantic entanglement.
Fry: That's right, she fraternized me!
Morgan Proctor: That form wasn't about you. It refers to my high school prom date. It was a regulation date that ended in regulation disappointment.
Hermes Conrad: Yes, but you only stamped it four times.
Morgan Proctor: No! No! I was young and reckless!
Professor Farnsworth: Dammit, Hermes, just jump already! Stop hogging that healthy liver.
Bender: I'm Bender, baby! Please insert liquor!
[singing about bureaucracy]
LaBarbara Conrad: But something changed when my man turned pro.
Hermes Conrad: I was sortin' but I wasn't smilin'.
LaBarbara Conrad: He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks.
Hermes Conrad: [punning] It's supposed to be about da filin'! People!
Fry: What's with the specs, Bender?
Bender: They're my lucky shades. I got them off some lucky guy while his lucky seeing-eye dog was out taking a whiz.
Fry: What did you do to him?
Morgan Proctor: I have downloaded his brain. Everything that is Bender is right here: his mind, his memories, his in-your-face interface.
Bender: [monotone] I am Bender. Please insert girder.
Fry: I demand that you give Bender back right now!
Morgan Proctor: Then you should have filed a request twenty years ago.
No. 1.0: Don't quote me regulations! I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the color of the book that regulation's in.
[hardens his tone]
No. 1.0: We kept it gray!