Wendy: At least the nightmare is over.
Robot Cop in Movie: It will never be over, Wendy. Even now, humans are lurking in our playgrounds, our breezeways, even in... our movie theaters!
[Movie audience gasps]
Fry: God help us!
Fry: [sees Bender addressing a robot mob] It's him! He's okay.
Bender: Death to humans!
Fry: Ah, it's good to hear his voice.
Robot Playing Human in Movie: I will eat and digest you all with my system of mighty organs!
Robot Cop in Movie: Incredible. The human was impervious to our most powerful magnetic field, yet he was destroyed by a harmless pointed stick.
Blue Elder: Elders, execute function-control-shift-kill.
Robot Guard #1: Be you robot or human?
Leela: Robot, we be.
Fry: Yep, just two robots out roboting it up.
Robot Guard #2: Administer the test.
Robot Guard #1: Which of the following would you prefer? A. a puppy; B. a flower from your sweetie; or C. a large, properly formatted data file? Choose!
[Fry and Leela discuss in whispers]
Fry: Is the puppy mechanical in any way?
Robot Guard #1: No. It is the bad kind of puppy.
Leela: Then we'll go with that data file.
Robot Guard #1: Correct.
Robot Guard #2: The flower would have also been acceptable.
Robot Guard #1: You may pass.
Bender: You humans are afraid of a little robot competition. You would never let a robot on the field.
Fry: What are you talking about? I see plenty of robots out there.
Bender: Yeah, doing crap work. Robots are only working as bat boys, ball polishers and sprinkler systems. But how many robot managers are there?
[Throws a bottle on the ground; a robot cleans it up]
Bender: And look who's cleaning up the crap! A human child? I wish!
Bender: Admit it, you all think robots are just machines built by humans to make their lives easier.
Fry: Well, aren't they?
Bender: I never made anyone's life easier, and you know it!
Fry: So let me get this straight. This planet is completely uninhabited?
Bender: No, it's inhabited by robots.
Fry: Oh, kinda like how a warehouse is inhabited by boxes.
Robot Mayor: Today we have a special guest, whose irrational hatred of humans makes me look like a human sympathizer.
Bender: I like it here. I have wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.
Leela: We'd be killed instantly if we set foot on the surface, so we need to look and act like robots.
Fry: [robotic voice] I am fully operational.
Leela: We need to move like robots, talk like robots, and if necessary, solve complex differential equations like robots.
Fry: I can sort of dance like a robot.
[does the robot]
Leela: Fry, first of all, this is serious. And second of all...
[does the robot better]
Fry: [as they board the ship] So long, suckers!
[the robots start piling up on each other, getting closer to our heroes]
Fry: Uh, hello, suckers.
Leela: Face it, Fry. Baseball was as boring as mom and apple pie. That's why they jazzed it up.
Fry: Boring? Baseball wasn't... Wait. So they finally jazzed it up.
Dr. Zoidberg: I'll have some squid log.
Hot Dog Vendor: Sorry, we don't serve that.
Dr. Zoidberg: Fine, then I'll have one of your young on a roll.
Hot Dog Vendor: We don't serve rolls.
Dr. Zoidberg: Fine, just give me something crawling with parasites.
[Cut to Zoidberg and the others eating hot dogs]
Fry: At least hot dogs haven't changed.
Rusty: [in movie] Say, Wendy, your chassis is a little scuffed. Mind if I polish it for you?
Bender: The fact is, humans are completely harmless.
Blue Elder: We're well aware of that.
Bender: You are?
Blue Elder: Of course. But they're useful to us as a scapegoat to distract the public from their real problem.
Green Elder: Like our crippling lug nut shortage.
Orange Elder: And a corrupt government of incompetent Robot Elders.
Yellow Elder: Duh, that's for sure.
Blue Elder: Quiet, Jimmy.
Bender: Well, I'm glad we got all that out in the open. We'll just let ourselves out.
Fry: Stop! One more step and I'll breathe fire on you!
Leela: He'll do it! He's crazy.
Orange Elder: Can humans really do that, or did we just made that up?
Blue Elder: I think it was from that movie.
Green Elder: Was that the original or the remake?
Blue Elder: I'm not sure... Hey, they're getting away!
Robot Mayor: That's the 146 thousandth unsuccessful human hunt in a row. But I have a good feeling about tomorrow.
Bender: Oh, sure. Let the robot do all the work.
Leela: Bender, this is the first actual work you have been asked to do.
Bender: Well, I can't do it. It so happens tomorrow is a robot holiday.
Fry: Really? Which one?
Bender: Only Robanukah, the two holiest weeks in the robot calendar.
Leela: Last week it was Robamadan, and the week before that, Robanzaa.
Fry: Man, that one was a blast.
Bender: I was not just a blast. It was a celebration of the accomplishments of my past prototypes, which just happened to take the form of a drinking contest.
Bender: Your basic human is between three and twenty-five feet tall, and is mostly composed of an oily goo wrapped in a t-shirt.
Robot: Is it true that they bite you on the neck to drain your transmission fluid, and then you become human yourself?
Bender: Sure, why not?
Leela: Wait a minute. We know they hate humans, but how do they feel about humanoid aliens?
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: They're not fans.