- Danny Tanner: Something tells me things didn't go so well at the audition, did they?
- D.J. Tanner: Oh, no.
- Danny Tanner: We talked about how this might happen. They probably just gave this part to somebody's relative.
- D.J. Tanner: Oh yeah.
- Jesse Cochran: Hello.
- Danny Tanner: I know... D. J. didn't get the part.
- Jesse Cochran: Here's something you don't know. Steph did.
- Danny Tanner: Stephanie got the part?
- [Hugs Stephanie]
- Danny Tanner: That's wonderful!
- [Turns to D.J]
- Danny Tanner: I'm really sorry.
- [Hugs Stephanie]
- Danny Tanner: But that's wonderful!
- [Turns to D.J]
- Danny Tanner: I'm really sorry.
- Joey Gladstone: It just so happens I gave up smoking
- [snaps fingers]
- Joey Gladstone: like that.
- Danny Tanner: Joey, I've known you forever. When did you smoke?
- Joey Gladstone: When I was 12. I smoked four cigarettes, my dad stopped me, and I stopped cold turkey.
- Jesse Cochran: You know something, she's right. D. J., your right. Stephanie stole that part right out form under you. In fact, she planned this whole thing. She tricked us into bringing her along, pretending that she cares about you!
- Joey Gladstone: The conniving little sneak!
- Jesse Cochran: And then you fell into Stephanie's fiendish little trap by doing a great audition.
- Joey Gladstone: The monster!
- Jesse Cochran: Meanwhile, the sinister little Stephanie, she used her telekinetic powers to send us out of the room so she could steal your commercial. Ooh!
- Joey Gladstone: I say we light some torches, find the she-devil, and drive her into the night.
- D.J. Tanner: I know the rule is you have to love your little sister. But even if you were some strange little kid who lived in my room, I'd love you anyways. You're my best friend.
- Stephanie Tanner: Really? I'm your best friend?
- D.J. Tanner: Yep.
- Stephanie Tanner: Well, that works out great, because you're mine.