- Jesse Katsopolis: [hears bagpipes] Gibbler! What are you killing back there?
- Kimmy Gibbler: [Irish accent] I'm practicing me bagpipes for the Scottish music festival after school.
- Jesse Katsopolis: That's not a Scottish accent!
- Kimmy Gibbler: [normal voice] I didn't say I was practicing my accent. Don't get your kilt in a knot, McGreasy.
- Joey Gladstone: [Jesse's waging war with Kimmy] You know, Jess, this can't possibly be good for your blood pressure. You should really think about having a Hoho. I find that sucking out the cream filling is doggone relaxing.
- Jesse Katsopolis: Joseph and I mean this in the nicest way, shut your Hoho hole!
- Joey Gladstone: Hoho hole secure, sir!
- [salutes]
- Danny Tanner: [carrying a box of canned meat] Ryan.
- Ryan: Hey cool, Spam delivers!
- Danny Tanner: No we don't.
- [pause]
- Danny Tanner: I mean THEY don't.
- Danny Tanner: I wanted to talk to you about you and Stephanie's date, last night.
- Ryan: Oh, yeah, right. Well, the guys and I had something else planned. It was no big deal.
- Danny Tanner: Well, maybe not to you. You didn't see her sitting there dressed up with no place to go.
- Ryan: [embarrassed] She took it pretty hard, huh?
- Danny Tanner: [upset] She was devastated. It broke my heart to see the tears in her eyes.
- Ryan: Whoa... I didn't think I'd make her cry.
- Danny Tanner: You didn't think about her feelings, at all. Not only did you ruin her night, but you missed out on getting to know a really great person. Maybe next time, Ryan, you should think about someone else, besides yourself.
- [Ryan, though hurt, nods in agreement]
- Danny Tanner: Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got canned meat to deliver.
- Ryan: [Danny opens the front door to see a dejected Ryan, stood up by Stephanie] Hope you're happy.
- Danny Tanner: I'm not doing too badly.
- Kimmy Gibbler: [practicing bagpipes] After next week this place will be quieter than Loch Ness.
- Jesse Katsopolis: Yeah but I'll still be stuck with the monster.