Chandler Bing: [on the phone] Hi Janice, hold on
[puts the phone to his chest]
Chandler Bing: what do I do?
Rachel Green: I don't know
Monica Geller: If we did, what you did, no man would ever call us again, act like you just woke up, be sleepy
Rachel Green: And grumpy
Chandler Bing: Stop naming dwarfs!
Janice Litman: Chandler?
Chandler Bing: [trying to be aloof] Hello Janice
Janice Litman: What are you doing here?
Chandler Bing: Shopping, how have you been?
Janice Litman: Are you being British?
Chandler Bing: No, not anymore
Janice Litman: You don't live in the neighborhood, were you waiting for me?
Chandler Bing: Ya huh I'm just picking up some things for a party
Janice Litman: Bali? What kind of a party serves bali?
Chandler Bing: Sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours
Janice Litman: Where is this party?
Chandler Bing: Right here in Chelsea?
Janice Litman: Who's it for?
Chandler Bing: A woman
Janice Litman: A woman? What's this woman's name?
Chandler Bing: Chelsea?
Janice Litman: One of two things is happening here, either you're seeing another woman which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet or you're pretending to be seeing a woman which is so pathetic it makes me want to cry here in the cereal aisle, which of these guys do you want to be?
[A man walks past]
Chandler Bing: Can I be that guy?
Joey Tribbiani: I've never been through the tunnel myself because the way I understand it, you can't go through it if you have more than one girl in the car but the way I see it, you face your fears same as anything else, you've got a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building, you've got a fear of bugs, get a bug, in your case you've got a fear of commitment so you go in there and be the most committed guy there was
Rachel Green: Amazingly that actually makes sense
Chandler Bing: Really?
Joey Tribbiani: Sure jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind
Chandler Bing: I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm going to be peeing every which way
Joey Tribbiani: The casting director doesn't talk to friends! She only talks to agents!
Phoebe Buffay: What a sad little life she must lead.
Monica Geller: Why are you being such a weenie? So he plays with a doll. You used to dress up like a woman.
Dr. Ross Geller: What?
Monica Geller: You used to dress up in Mom's clothes. You had the pink hat and the little pink bag.
Dr. Ross Geller: You're making this up!
Monica Geller: How can you not remember? You made us call you "B".
Dr. Ross Geller: Oh God!
Susan Bunch: I've literally never been so happy.
Monica Geller: Wasn't there a song?
Carol Willick: Please let there be a song.
Monica Geller: [sings] "My name's B, I drink tea..."
[She follows Ross who locks himself in the bathroom]
Monica Geller: "Won't you, won't you, won't you..."
[opens the door]
Monica Geller: "... Won't you dance around with me?"