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"Friends" The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel (TV Episode 1996) Poster

Quotes

Chandler Bing: [on the phone] Hi Janice, hold on

[puts the phone to his chest]

Chandler Bing: what do I do?

Rachel Green: I don't know

Monica Geller: If we did, what you did, no man would ever call us again, act like you just woke up, be sleepy

Rachel Green: And grumpy

Chandler Bing: Stop naming dwarfs!

Janice Litman: Chandler?

Chandler Bing: [trying to be aloof] Hello Janice

Janice Litman: What are you doing here?

Chandler Bing: Shopping, how have you been?

Janice Litman: Are you being British?

Chandler Bing: No, not anymore

Janice Litman: You don't live in the neighborhood, were you waiting for me?

Chandler Bing: Ya huh I'm just picking up some things for a party

Janice Litman: Bali? What kind of a party serves bali?

Chandler Bing: Sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours

Janice Litman: Where is this party?

Chandler Bing: Right here in Chelsea?

Janice Litman: Who's it for?

Chandler Bing: A woman

Janice Litman: A woman? What's this woman's name?

Chandler Bing: Chelsea?

Janice Litman: One of two things is happening here, either you're seeing another woman which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet or you're pretending to be seeing a woman which is so pathetic it makes me want to cry here in the cereal aisle, which of these guys do you want to be?

[A man walks past]

Chandler Bing: Can I be that guy?

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Joey Tribbiani: I've never been through the tunnel myself because the way I understand it, you can't go through it if you have more than one girl in the car but the way I see it, you face your fears same as anything else, you've got a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building, you've got a fear of bugs, get a bug, in your case you've got a fear of commitment so you go in there and be the most committed guy there was

Rachel Green: Amazingly that actually makes sense

Chandler Bing: Really?

Joey Tribbiani: Sure jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind

Chandler Bing: I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm going to be peeing every which way

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Monica Geller: Why are you being such a weenie? So he plays with a doll. You used to dress up like a woman.

Dr. Ross Geller: What?

Monica Geller: You used to dress up in Mom's clothes. You had the pink hat and the little pink bag.

Dr. Ross Geller: You're making this up!

Monica Geller: How can you not remember? You made us call you "B".

Dr. Ross Geller: Oh God!

Susan Bunch: I've literally never been so happy.

Monica Geller: Wasn't there a song?

Carol Willick: Please let there be a song.

Monica Geller: [sings] "My name's B, I drink tea..."

[She follows Ross who locks himself in the bathroom]

Monica Geller: "Won't you, won't you, won't you..."

[opens the door]

Monica Geller: "... Won't you dance around with me?"

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Joey Tribbiani: The casting director doesn't talk to friends! She only talks to agents!

Phoebe Buffay: What a sad little life she must lead.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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