[filling out a form]
Monica: Are you currently on any medication?
Rachel: Um, oh, wait yes. Blistex.
Monica: Okay, no.
Ross: Uh, Pheebs I don't think "scrunchie" is a word...
Phoebe: Why not? If "crunchie" is a word why isn't "scrunchie"?
Chandler: All right well I'm usin that same argument for "fligament"
Ross: [runs into hospital holding Marcel] You've got to help me my monkey swallowed a "K"!
Nurse: Get that animal outta here!
Ross: No the animal hospital is on the other side of the city he's choking!
Nurse: Excuse me? This hospital is for people!
Ross: Lady he IS people! He has a name! OK? He watches Jepordy! He... he... touches himself when no one's watching!
Monica: Hi. I'm going to need a new set of these forms.
Admissions Woman: Why?
Monica: I am really an idiot... you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, I put mine.
Admissions Woman: You *are* an idiot!
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Chandler: That's nice.
Joey Tribbiani: Nice.
Ross: No no, WITH him. I'm on this field and they hike me the baby. I know I've got to do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defense is coming right at me.
Joey Tribbiani: Tampa Bay has got a terrible team.
Ross: Right, but it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinking they can take us and so I... I just heave it downfield.
Chandler: What are you crazy, that's a baby!
Joey Tribbiani: He should take the sack?