Phoebe: Y'know, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that we're trying to figure out her recipe. I bet she's lookin' up at us and smiling right now.
Ross: Looking *up*?
Phoebe: Oh yeah. No, she was really nice to me, but she's in hell for sure.
Monica: Well, I've tried everything. I give up. I guess I'm not gonna be the mom who makes the world's best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that, right?
Ross: Aww, Pheeb, come on isn't there any relative that would have the recipe? What about, what about your sister?
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And that's not happening 'til October 15th, 2032.
Ross: That's the day you're gonna die? See - darn it, I've got shuffleboard that day.
Phoebe: That's what *you* think.
Monica: Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmother's... wouldn't they have the recipe?
Phoebe: Well, y'know, I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Toulouse.
Monica: What was her name?
Phoebe: Nesele Toulouse.
Monica: NESTLE TOLLHOUSE?
Phoebe: Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language!
Monica: [grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips] Phoebe, is *this* the recipe?
[tosses her the bag]
Phoebe: [reading the recipe on the back of the bag] Yes!
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
Phoebe: I know! You see, it is stuff like this which is why
Phoebe: you're burning in hell!
Phoebe: I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up.
Monica: No. Why didn't you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?
Phoebe: [pauses] Because I'm normal.
Joey: You're mean on the boat.
Rachel: What? I was just trying to teach you.
Joey: Well, lesson learned. Rachel is mean.
Ross: Yeeeeeep... Yep-yep-yep-yep-yep. I remember when she took me out on her dad's boat she wouldn't let me help at all.
Rachel: Excuse me, I wanted you to help, but you couldn't move your arms because you were wearing three life jackets.
Ross: You have to respect the sea.
Rachel: Oh my God. I've become my father. I've been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn't see this coming.
Monica: Wow, I haven't made this many cookies since the 8th grade!
Phoebe: What was that, for a bake sale or something?
Monica: No, just a Friday night
Rachel: Look Joey, I'm sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Joey: Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer pinhead?"
Rachel: Well, does a good student drink seven beers during his first lesson?
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Rachel: Yeah, I didn't want you to get hit by the boom!
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it would've hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
Rachel: All right, y'know what? I-I'm sorry. I will try to tone it down and uh stop yelling.
Joey: You won't boss me around anymore?
Rachel: I won't boss you around.
Joey: And you'll be nice?
Rachel: And, I'll be nice.
Joey: And you'll be topless?
Rachel: And I'll-Joey!
Joey: Do you want me to learn?
Rachel: Okay Joey, we're luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham?
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didn't know there.
Rachel: Joey, come on! We just went over this!
Joey: Oh, y'know, when we did that was when that bird was flying overhead with the fish in his mouth. Did you see it? It was gross!
Rachel: [furious] No! All right? I did *not* see the bird! I did *not* see the fish! I did *not* see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did *not*, because I was trying to teach you *how* to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Joey: All right that's it! You're yelling and I don't see you taking your top off! I quit!
Rachel: What do you mean you quit? You can't quit!
Joey: Why not?
Rachel: Because you're not finished yet and I won't have it! Greens do not quit!
Joey: Greens? I'm a Tribbiani! And Tribbianis quit!
Rachel: Y'know Joey, I could teach you to sail if you want.
Joey: You could?
Rachel: Yeah. I've been sailing my whole life. When I was fifteen my dad bought me my own boat.
Phoebe: Your own boat?
Rachel: What? What? He was trying to cheer me up. My pony was sick.
Rachel: You know, Joey, I could teach you to sail, if you want.
Joey: You could?
Rachel: Yeah! I've been sailing my whole life. When I was fifteen my dad bought me my own boat.
Phoebe: Your own boat?
Rachel: What? What? He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick.
Monica: I want to have your grandmother's cookie recipe!
Phoebe: You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
Monica: Uh-huh, yeah.
Phoebe: You mean the one that my grandmother made me swear on her deathbed that I would never let out of our family?
Chandler Bing: Dying people say the craziest things!