Friends (TV Series)
Charles Bing: Aren't you a little too *old* to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora Tyler Bing: Don't you have a little too much *penis* to wear a dress like that?
Ross: I'm gonna say this as Monica's brother. Not as your friend.
Chandler: So now you're not my friend?
Ross: Not now.
Chandler: All right.
Ross: So i couldn't be happier cause you're marrying Monica. But if someday you ever hurt her, I will hunt you down and kick your ass.
Chandler: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ross: What, what? I'm just warning you. I'll hunt you down and kick your ass.
Chandler: Ok. So now you're my friend again?
Chandler: You wouldn't believe what Monica's brother just told me...
Nora Tyler Bing: As I recall, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Charles Bing: But that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then.
Nora Tyler Bing: Honey, it's not good luck.
[Rachel approaches a woman, who she thinks is Chandler's dad]
Rachel: Hi, I'm Rachel. And you are?
Rachel: Oh... I get it. A-man-duh.
Richard Crosby: I found the picture.
Joey: Picture? What picture?
Richard Crosby: Could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can play off your reaction.
Joey: OK, I know you're a great actor and you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff... But you're spittin' all over me, man!
Richard Crosby: Well of course I have.
Joey: You know you've been spitting on me?
Richard Crosby: That's what real actors do! Enunciation is the mark of a good actor, and when you enunciate, you SPIT!
Rachel Green: OK, promise not to freak out. We can't find Chandler.
[Phoebe walks in. Gives a thumbs up]
Rachel Green: er's vest. We can't find Chandler's vest?
Monica Geller: Oh, my God! Are you serious.
Phoebe Buffay: Don't worry. We found the vest. Although, we're going to have to keep an eye on it before it runs away again.
Monica Geller: [laughing] OK. Don't scare me like that. For a second I was like "Oh, my God! The worst has happened".
Rachel Green: Maybe it means "Tell Monica I'm sorry I drank that kast of the milk" or maybe "Tell Monica I'm sorry I used your tweezers to pluck my nose hair"
[Ross and Phoebe stare at Rachel]
Rachel Green: He does. I've seen him.
Phoebe Buffay: Maybe he's writing to tell her he changed his name. Like "Tell Monica I'm Sorry".
Ross: I think it means he freaked out.
Phoebe Buffay: Don't be so negative. Isn't it possible that Sorry's in there right now.
Monica Geller: Chandler, this is my cousin Maureen.
Chandler: We're the Bings!
Rachel Green: [to Monica and Chandler] Hi! Aww, you guys look so beautiful!
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Bing!
[Joey is starring in a World War I epic]
Ross: Why are you wearing sunglasses?
Joey: Well, I figure if I wore them the guy wouldn't spit in my eyes so much when he talks.
Ross: Yeah, and if I remember correctly, "Rayban" was the official sponsor of World War I.
Joey: Really? Great.
Charles Bing: Hello, Nora.
Nora Bing: Hello, Charles.
Charles Bing: Well, it's nice to see all of you. Although we are seeing a bit too much of some. Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora Bing: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that!
Ross: Chandler's missing.
[Ross and Rachel are in Monic'a doorway. Phoebe comes up]
Phoebe Buffay: What's going on?
[reading the note]
Phoebe Buffay: "Tell Monica I'm sorry"
[Phoebe looks up at Ross, then back at the note, then back to Ross]
Phoebe Buffay: Tell her yourself.
Monica Geller: Mrs. Bing? These are my parents Judy and Jack Geller.
Judy Geller: It's lovely to meet you.
Jack Geller: So, are you his mother or his father?
Monica: Rachel, you have to find Chandler's dad.
Rachel: Okay, what does he look like?
Monica: He's the man in the black dress. Hurry.