- Ross: Hey, Mon, if everything works out between you and Richard's son, you will be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
- Monica: [in response to digs about inviting Richard's son for Thanksgiving] Fine but
- [pointing at Ross]
- Monica: married a lesbian,
- [pointing at Rachel]
- Monica: left a guy standing at the altar,
- [pointing at Phoebe]
- Monica: married a gay ice dancer,
- [pointing at Joey]
- Monica: threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire,
- [pointing at Chandler in the box]
- Monica: lives in a box.
- Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Gunther, have you, uh, have you seen Chandler?
- Gunther: [looking confused] I thought you were Chandler.
- Gunther: [both look confused] But uhm, one of you is over there ...
- Rachel Greene: It's sick.
- Monica: Why is it sick?
- Rachel Greene: Because he's Richard's son, Monica. It's like inviting a greek tragedy over for dinner.
- Chandler Bing: The meaning of the box is threefold. One, it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three... it hurts!
- Rachel Greene: This is a movie stub from our first date. This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed. This is from the museum, the first time we... were together. OK, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter.
- Ross: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. Though, you're not supposed to take these.
- [points to the bone]
- Ross: It's like a million years old. We actually have people looking for that.
- Chandler Bing: Monica got ice in her eye and it hurts.
- Phoebe Buffay: Open it up, let me see.
- Monica: Ow! I can't, it really kills.
- Chandler Bing: Maybe you should put some ice on it.
- Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, it looks bad.
- Rachel Greene: Hey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
- Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard. I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend.
- Dr. Tim Burke: [on Chandler, who is inside the box] Why is he...?
- Joey Tribbiani: He's doing some thinking!