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"Friends" The One with All the Poker (TV Episode 1995) Poster

(TV Series)

(1995)

Quotes

Phoebe: I just realized something. Joker is poker with a j... coincidence?

Chandler: Hey, that's "joincidence"... with a c.

Ross: Look, Rachel. I play to win, and in order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're going to play with me, don't expect me to be a nice guy, 'cause when I play poker...

[wipes his hands]

Joey: Yeah?

Ross: I'm not a nice guy.

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Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.

Joey: [Throws Down His Cards]

Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face.

Joey: [Looks round the group, seeing stunned faces]

Joey: Oh, I'm out

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Rachel: Guess what, guess what, guess what!

Chandler: Um, ok. The fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?

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Monica: OKAY. Are we ready to play some serious poker?

Ross: Well are you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy.

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Rachel: I got an interview!

Monica: Where?

Rachel: Saks Fifth Avenue!

Phoebe: Oh, Rachel! It's like the mother ship is calling you home!

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[Ross coming back from bathroom, getting ready to play poker with Rachel]

Ross: Your money's mine, Green.

Rachel: Your fly's open, Geller.

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Rachel: God, could you believe what a jerk Ross was being?

Monica: Oh I know he can get really competitive.

Phoebe: [laughs]

Monica: What?

Phoebe: [pretends to pick up a phone] Hello kettle? This is Monica. You're black!

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Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?

Ross: I don't know.

Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?

Ross: No, it's not just that. It's just--I want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh...

[begins to stare lovingly at Rachel]

Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn?

Ross: What?

Chandler: Could you want her more?

Ross: Who?

Chandler: [sarcastically] Dee, the sarcastic sister from What's Happening!

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Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? "Joker" is "poker" with a "J." Coincidence?

Chandler: Hey, that's... that's "joincidence" with a "C!"

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Ross: [looking at Rachel's resume] Rach, did you proof read these?

Rachel: Uh, yeah. Why?

Ross: Uh, nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent "compuper skills".

Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?

Joey: Ah, no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

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Rachel: So basically you guys get your ya-ya's by taking money from all of your friends.

Chandler: Yeah, and I get my ya-ya's from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.

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Ross: I'm not in love with her.

Chandler: Then what was with that whole Black Bart speech? "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy."

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Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our game.

Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.

Monica: Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse! That's a typical guy response.

Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?

MonicaRachelPhoebe: No...

Rachel: But you could teach us!

RossChandlerJoey: No...

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Ross: Your money's mine, Green.

Rachel: Your fly's open, Geller.

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Rachel: Ok, well, I'm turnin' in.

Chandler: Rach, we gotta settle.

Rachel: Settle what?

Chandler: The Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see King George is giving us the land.

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Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead?

Monica: I don't think so.

Aunt Iris: Well, he might be now, because I just ran him over with my car.

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Joey: [about a poker hand] There was chocolate on the 3. It looked like an 8. All right?

Ross: You should've seen him. "Read 'em and weep".

Chandler: And then he did.

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Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50, but I think you should know that this money is cursed.

Joey: What?

Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So bad things will happen to he who spends it.

Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway.

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Ross: [Playing Pictionary, Rachel draws a bean] bean... bean

Joey: The Unbearable Lightness of Being!

Rachel: Yes!

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Rachel: Guess what, guess what?

Chandler: Let's see, the fifth dentist caved, now they all recommend trident?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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