Phoebe: I just realized something. Joker is poker with a j... coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's "joincidence"... with a c.
Ross: Look, Rachel. I play to win, and in order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're going to play with me, don't expect me to be a nice guy, 'cause when I play poker...
[wipes his hands]
Ross: I'm not a nice guy.
Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: [Throws Down His Cards]
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face.
Joey: [Looks round the group, seeing stunned faces]
Joey: Oh, I'm out
Rachel: Guess what, guess what, guess what!
Chandler: Um, ok. The fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Monica: OKAY. Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Ross: Well are you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy.
Rachel: I got an interview!
Rachel: Saks Fifth Avenue!
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel! It's like the mother ship is calling you home!
[Ross coming back from bathroom, getting ready to play poker with Rachel]
Ross: Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Your fly's open, Geller.
Rachel: God, could you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Oh I know he can get really competitive.
Phoebe: [pretends to pick up a phone] Hello kettle? This is Monica. You're black!
Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
Ross: I don't know.
Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's just--I want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh...
[begins to stare lovingly at Rachel]
Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn?
Chandler: Could you want her more?
Chandler: [sarcastically] Dee, the sarcastic sister from What's Happening!
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? "Joker" is "poker" with a "J." Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's... that's "joincidence" with a "C!"
Ross: [looking at Rachel's resume] Rach, did you proof read these?
Rachel: Uh, yeah. Why?
Ross: Uh, nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent "compuper skills".
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Ah, no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Rachel: So basically you guys get your ya-ya's by taking money from all of your friends.
Chandler: Yeah, and I get my ya-ya's from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Ross: I'm not in love with her.
Chandler: Then what was with that whole Black Bart speech? "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy."
Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our game.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Monica: Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse! That's a typical guy response.
Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
Rachel: But you could teach us!
Rachel: Ok, well, I'm turnin' in.
Chandler: Rach, we gotta settle.
Rachel: Settle what?
Chandler: The Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see King George is giving us the land.
Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead?
Monica: I don't think so.
Aunt Iris: Well, he might be now, because I just ran him over with my car.
Joey: [about a poker hand] There was chocolate on the 3. It looked like an 8. All right?
Ross: You should've seen him. "Read 'em and weep".
Chandler: And then he did.
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50, but I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway.
Ross: [Playing Pictionary, Rachel draws a bean] bean... bean
Joey: The Unbearable Lightness of Being!