Monica: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
Joey: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car.
Rachel Green: I do not think what our children's names are gonna be!
Dr. Ross Geller: ...Ross looks at her...
Rachel Green: You know what our children's names are gonna be!
Dr. Ross Geller: No, no, I mean you know, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily, and I thought, I thought it might be good.
Rachel Green: What was the book?
Dr. Ross Geller: ...The big book of children's name.
Dr. Ross Geller: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liqueur?
Carol Willick: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said Yeman.
Dr. Ross Geller: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like...
Dr. Ross Geller: Really? I had a whole speech prepared.
Susan Bunch: [sarcastically] Oh, shoot, that would've been fun.
Joey: You know, one of these times, you're gonna really be naked and we're not gonna come over!
Monica: Ooh, that'd teach me a lesson.
Phoebe Buffay: Hey. Whatcha guys doin'?
Dr. Richard Burke: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
Phoebe Buffay: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.
Rachel Green: What?
Dr. Ross Geller: What're you talking about?
Phoebe Buffay: C'mon, happy family gets a dog, frontier fun.
Dr. Ross Geller: Yeah, but Pheebs, what about the end?
Phoebe Buffay: What when Yeller saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy?
Rachel Green: That's not the end.
Phoebe Buffay: Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'.
Monica Geller: What about the part where he has rabies?
Phoebe Buffay: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.
Dr. Richard Burke: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
Phoebe Buffay: What, what's about to happen?
Phoebe Buffay: I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, whatcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no, no Travis, put down the gun. No, no, no, no he-he's your buddy. He's your Yeller! No, no, no! The end, THE END!
[hears the gunshot from the TV]
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, what kind of sick doggy snuff film is this?