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"Freaks and Geeks" The Garage Door (TV Episode 2000) Poster

(TV Series)

(2000)

Quotes

Bill Haverchuck: Remember that time in science class when I tried to sneak out a fart but it came out a poop? And then I had to flush my undies down the toilet? Do you think I wanted to tell you guys that?

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Lindsay Weir: [about Tuba Girl] Oh, my God.

Ken Miller: What?

Lindsay Weir: You really like her, don't you?

Ken Miller: I feel odd.

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Sam Weir: Uh, dad, can I have an Atari from my birthday?

Harold Weir: An a-what-ee?

Sam Weir: Atari.

Harold Weir: What the heck is that?

Jean Weir: That's one of those expensive video games, isn't it?

Sam Weir: No, no, it's not expensive!

Harold Weir: Yeah, well, whatever it costs, it's a waste of money. And time. You know, the welfare rolls are full of video game players.

Lindsay Weir: No, they're not.

Harold Weir: Well, they're gonna be. Trust me.

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Neal Schweiber: So, I wake up this morning, and guess what is sitting on the end of my bed?

Bill Haverchuck: A turd?

Neal Schweiber: Yes, Bill, a turd.

Bill Haverchuck: Eww, gross!

Neal Schweiber: An Atari video set. Is my dad the coolest, or what? So, uh, shall we say Asteroids, my place, 3:30?

Bill Haverchuck: Yeah, if that's when you wanna get your butt kicked.

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Bill Haverchuck: You remember when we said we'd tell each other everything?

Neal Schweiber: Yeah.

Bill Haverchuck: Did you mean it?

Neal Schweiber: Of course.

Bill Haverchuck: Even if it's something really, really horrible? I mean, it might not be horrible, 'cause it might not be true, but if it is true, it could be pretty horrible.

Neal Schweiber: Okay, Bill, you're killin' me. You gotta tell me now.

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Kim Kelly: [watching the marching band practice] Check out the pizza-face dork with the trombone! Why doesn't he just pop those things?

Daniel Desario: I think if he did, he'd die of blood loss.

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Ken Miller: [watching the marching band practice] Look, look, it's Tuba Girl.

[shouts]

Ken Miller: Hey! Hey, your tuba is so big and sexy It makes me hot listening to it, baby! Play me some Billy Joel! Yeah!

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Lindsay Weir: [after Ken mocks Tuba Girl] Hey, at least she knows how to play an instrument.

Ken Miller: That's not playing an instrument. It's like blowing into a toilet!

Lindsay Weir: It sounds better than your singing.

Ken Miller: Lindsay, here's an idea. How about you break up our band so you can go make out with Nick? Oh, wait, you already did that, that's right.

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Lindsay Weir: So who's Wendy Franklin?

Kim Kelly: Ugh, long story. Let's just say she's a cheap little slut that Daniel made out with while we were broken up.

Lindsay Weir: But it's over with her, right?

Kim Kelly: Lindsay, that's not the point. He did it with her at the Laser Dome. Now he wants to go there with me?

Lindsay Weir: So, are you going?

Kim Kelly: Well, yeah. I mean, what else am I gonna do?

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Daniel Desario: [to Ken] You're in love with Tuba Girl?

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Bill Haverchuck: You know what would be cool, guys? To find a girl in a bottle, like - like "I Dream of Jeanie." I'd like to make out with her on that little couch.

Sam Weir: Yeah, Cindy would look good in those puffy pants.

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Nick Andopolis: Can you ever not be sarcastic?

Ken Miller: [sarcastically] I'm sarcastic?

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Sam Weir: [to Neal] So, I told my mom that I was eating at your house, and Bill told his mom he was eating at my house, so that should give us some time.

Bill Haverchuck: When are we really gonna eat? I'm hungry.

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Sam Weir: I don't even know how you even get ONE girl. How does anyone get TWO?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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