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(TV Series)

(2000)

Quotes

Harold Weir: Well, everybody's got parents, Jean, even hookers. Remember that TV movie we saw?

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Bill Haverchuck: [prank calling] Fredericks? You're a turd. A stinky f-fat turd. Go sniff a jock strap, you poop head. You love patting boys' butts. You love patting boys' butts. Butt... you butt-patter! You're a perv and a loser... and a stinky... t-turd!

[hangs up]

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Sam Weir: Is this the best cereal you've got?

Neal Schweiber: I don't know. I never eat breakfast. I just have my coffee.

Bill Haverchuck: Before or after you shave?

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Harold Weir: Lindsay, do you know what happens when you put a rotten banana in a fruit bowl? All the other bananas go rotten. And that's what Kim Kelly is: a bad banana.

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Kim Kelly: Are you calling me irrational? Because I'll tear your head off, Daniel. I'll tear it off, and I'll throw it over that fence.

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Jock: Oh, man, the geeks have inherited the earth.

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Lindsay Weir: [while hitchhiking] We're so sheltered, you know? There's this whole other America out there. The person who picks us up could be an artist or a psychic or an escaped felon. This is so exciting!

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Harold Weir: [holding up his thumb] This! The thumb! You think I don't know what that means? I know, Lindsay! It means, "Hey, stranger! Please lock me in your car, drive me to God knows where and murder me!"

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Jean Weir: I had a diary when I was little. If my parents had read it, I would've been furious. Such a violation.

Harold Weir: Spooning with a stranger in the backseat of a van, that's a violation!

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Harold Weir: [looking through Lindsay's drawer for her diary] These stamps... I heard the kids put LSD on the back of them.

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Jean Weir: [serving dinner] Okay. I've got something special for us tonight. Ta-da!

Harold Weir: What the hell?

Jean Weir: Uh, Harold, they're Cornish Game Hen with a plum wine sauce. They're fantastic.

Harold Weir: What'd you do, put poison in a bird feeder?

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Neal Schweiber: You are a dimwit. And an imbecile. I blow my nose in your general direction.

Coach Ben Fredricks: T-t-that's not in there!

Neal Schweiber: It isn't?

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Mr. Casper: Pearls before swine.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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