Alan White: Excuse me, Dr. Love, would you autograph my genitals?
Bill Haverchuck: I don't like jokes. I don't think they are funny.
Neal Schweiber: [Looking at the movie that Daniel has loned them] Whoa, its a naked woman!
Bill Haverchuck: What's she doing?
Neal Schweiber: Who cares, she's naked!
Harris Trinsky: Love is like homework. You gotta study if you want to get an A.