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"Freakazoid!" The Wrath of Guitierrez (TV Episode 1996) Poster

Quotes

Freakazoid: Hey, you've been doing sit-ups!

Armondo Guitierrez: I took the liberty of improving up on the flaw that created us both. I am not more powerful then you can possibly imagine!

Freakazoid: Yes but can you dance?

[Guitierrez perfroms some fast and impressive dance steps]

Armondo Guitierrez: Yes!

Freakazoid: Wow...

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Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: Sorry I didn't help you out sooner kid. I thought you were doing one of your little skits.

Freakazoid: I don't know what it is, Cosgrove. It's like... all of a sudden there was this disruption in my energy field.

Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: You mean like that force thingy is Star Wars?

Freakazoid: Yeah, that's it!

Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: I like that movie. Carrie Fisher's a real cutie pie.

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Armondo Guitierrez: I don't want to wait a few more weeks! I must have access to the internet NOW! Today!

Warden Riba: It's just that, prisoners aren't supposed to have phones!

Armondo Guitierrez: If I don't get a phone line lickity split, I shall squeeze you. And I shall keep on squeezing you until all your man juices run dry!

Warden Riba: ...Ew.

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Roddy MacStew: Ever since Guitierrez entered the net, he's been busy setting up some deranged trap for you. When I tried to see what it was, he found me and kicked me out. He's amazingly powerful.

Freakazoid: If it's a trap, why do you want me to go in?

Roddy MacStew: You don't have a choice, lad. The reason you're so weak is Guitierrez sabotaged that energy field that powers you here on the outside. If you didn't go in, another hour or so, you'd be no better then a dried up piece of fleshy haggis! Ooh, he's figured it all out! He's baiting you, lad. He's made sure you have no choice but to go in after him. He means to destroy ye.

Freakazoid: Boy, you've got a lot of lines in this show.

Roddy MacStew: Aye! That's what I told them! But no! All the cruddy exposition goes to me! I've got to talk and talk, and fiddle with the computer and talk so more, and fiddle and talk! I feel like Obi-Wan Cruddy Kenobi!

Freakazoid: Roddy... settle.

Roddy MacStew: Alright, we're ready.

Freakazoid: Aren't you coming?

Roddy MacStew: Nay, Guitierrez has locked me out. He wants you... alone. There! That's the last of the cruddy exposition, thank you very much!

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Freakazoid: You weenie!

Armondo Guitierrez: A weenie? YOU are the weenie! And now I will have my revenge! It is because of you that I spent six long months locked away in a prison cell! Six months caged like an animal in a cage!

Freakazoid: Kay... settle.

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Armondo Guitierrez: I will enjoy watching you perish, Freakazoid! Ha ha ha ha ha! Laugh with me, laugh with me!

[laughs]

Freakazoid: He's such a weenie.

Armondo Guitierrez: I am not a weenie! You are the weenie!

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Freakazoid: A bowl! I got a bowl! Good for me!

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Freakazoid: Good for me!

Armondo Guitierrez: Yes, good for you, Freakazoid. I must say I'm surprised. Well done.

Freakazoid: Can I go now?

Armondo Guitierrez: Oh no, my friend. We have had our fun, but now it is time for you to be eliminated.

Freakazoid: But you said...

Armondo Guitierrez: I said if you found the key you would not be "deleted". I made no other promises.

Freakazoid: You ween...

Armondo Guitierrez: Don't say the weenie word! No, no no!

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Armondo Guitierrez: Freakazoid, help me! Would you let your father fall?

Freakazoid: My father? You're my father?

Armondo Guitierrez: Oh, yes, I am your father.

Freakazoid: Well, who...? Who was my mother?

Armondo Guitierrez: Uh, uh... Faye Dunaway.

Freakazoid: No, she's not!

Armondo Guitierrez: Uh... Kaye Ballard?

Freakazoid: Kaye? Nah.

Armondo Guitierrez: Would you believe Sandy Duncan?

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Freakazoid: I tried looking for Guitierrez, but he was gone. So i fixed my power supply and made sure Roddy wasn't locked out anymore.

Roddy MacStew: Good job, lad.

Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: Pretty interesting story, Freakazoid. But there's something I don't get.

Freakazoid: What's that, Cosgrove?

Sgt. Mike Cosgrove: In that movie "Congo", how do you tell the difference between the real monkey and the guy in a monkey suit?

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Guitierrez: I am stronger than you, faster than you, and better than you.

Freakazoid: Yes, but can you dance?

Guitierrez: [does a short step dance] Yes.

Freakazoid: [hushed whisper] Wow.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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