Frasier (TV Series)

War of the Words (2002)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Bernard Gadston : You were clearly mouthing the letters as Frederick spelled the last word, Dr. Crane.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I did no such thing!

  Dr. Bernard Gadston : We have it on the tape.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, if I did, it certainly wasn't a conscious act. It was like singing along at a concert. You know, I remember being admonished by the ushers for joining in a particularly intense performance of Das Lied von der Erde!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : So long, home school!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : So, what is this anyway?

  Roz Doyle : It's a flattened penny. I found it at the railroad tracks once when I was going through a really bad time. But as soon as I picked it up, started getting lucky.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, so that's where it all started.

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Eddie Crane, from Seattle, your word is "woof".

  Eddie : woof

  Martin Crane : [speaks without moving his lips]  W - O - O - F.

  Eddie : woof woof

• Frederick Crane : I talked to Mom today.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You're a bigger man than I am.

  Frederick Crane : That's what *she* said.

• [Last lines] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : People, stop please! Look at yourselves. This is wrong. What are words, after all, but a way to communicate, to bring us together? But you, you're using them as weapons! Now, we still have an opportunity to walk away from here as winners. And wouldn't that be the greatest Spell-abration of all?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [to Freddie]  He's right, Son. Let's go home.

  [They turn and head for the door with Niles] 

  John Clayton : Yeah, we're all winners. Except for the two cheaters!

  [the Crane boys stop, then collect themselves and continue] 

  Warren Clayton : Hey, you know how to spell "loser"? C-R-A-N-E!

  [Again, the Cranes halt a moment, then keep going] 

  John Clayton : You don't have to worry about ever seeing him again, son. Chances are he'll end up in a state school.

  [Freddie, Frasier and Niles whirl around, rage on their faces] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : How DARE you!

  [to Freddie] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : Can you take him?

  Frederick Crane : Yeah!

  Dr. Niles Crane : Then SPELL HIS ASS OFF!

  [They rush back to the middle. Frasier grabs the dictionary from a bystander. Fade out]