Frasier: Where are the Thomasons? Why is that dog still here?
Daphne: I'm sorry, Dr. Crane, but they struck me as unfit guardians.
Frasier: Oh for God's sake, he works at the zoo! She's a nurse, Billy's an altar boy and Kathy is a Campfire Girl!
Daphne: They had a dark aura.
Frasier: They had a ten-acre farm! If they'd taken me, I'd have gone with them!
Frasier: Niles, you have liver behind your ears.
Dr. Niles Crane: I imagine I must have picked up a cracker and inadvertently scratched behind my ear...
Frasier: You're saying you had a wad of cold meat behind your ears and you didn't feel it?
Dr. Niles Crane: That's the story I'm sticking with, yes.
Martin Crane: We used to think there had been some mix-up at the hospital. Of course when Niles came along that shot that theory all to hell.
Frasier: You know Dad, I've just developed a very interesting theory about you...
Martin Crane: [sarcastic] If I begged you, would you share it with me?
Frasier: Slowly, over the years, your responsibilities have been taken away from you, and you, well, you feel symbolically castrated.
Martin Crane: Oh, why does everything with you shrinks start in the crotch?
Daphne: [with the box of puppies] I think I've found the perfect name for this one!
Frasier: Stop! Dogs only need names if you're going to call them to you, which we're not!
Daphne: [with the box of puppies] Oh, couldn't you just eat them up!
Frasier: For God sakes, don't love them! They'll think they're staying!
Daphne: Oh, couldn't we just keep them for a while?
Frasier: [with the box of puppies] No, no we don't want them taking after their father. It may be too late already...
[to the puppies]
Frasier: Oh for God's sake, stop staring at me!
Frasier: Mrs. Greenway, there's no way Eddie could be the father - he's been neutered.
Mrs. Greenway: Well then, how do you explain these!
[hands Frasier a box of puppies]
Frasier: Oh my God! They're miniature Eddies!
Daphne: Oh, aren't they adorable!
Mrs. Greenway: I'm glad you think so, because they're yours!
Frasier: [to Eddie] Bad dog! Look what you've done!