Clive: Daphne, I noticed in the phone book, your surname still is Moon.
Niles: That must be an old book. Now she hyphenates. It's Moon-Crane.
Martin: I remember the first time I ever drove a moon crane. I nearly rolled it into the Sea of Tranquility.
[Martin needs a ride to his army reunion]
Martin: Come on, they're great guys. Stinky, Wolfman, Boom-Boom, Jim. Of course his name's not really Jim, we just call him that because he likes to drink Jim Beam. Just like we call Hank "Bud," because he drinks Budweiser. Come on, you'd love these guys!
Niles: We're sherry drinkers, Dad. Think about it!
[Martin pretends to be an astronaut]
Martin: Ya know, most people think that there the name Buzz Aldrin has some huge meaning behind it... nope, he was afraid of bees.
Daphne: I didn't mean to put you in an awkward position.
Niles: When it comes to you, no position is too awkward.
[Frasier is unaware Daphne is pretending to be married to Niles, so he assumes Clive is referring to Maris]
Dr. Frasier Crane: You've met Mrs. Crane?
Clive: She sure lights up a room, doesn't she?
Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes. Usually by leaving it.
Clive: There comes a time in a man's life when he's gotta look a woman straight in the eye and say...
Niles: Cheese nips?
Gil Chesterton: Brilliant show, Frasier! Chock full of pithy insight.
Dr. Frasier Crane: What do you want?
Gil Chesterton: A favor. Bonnie Weems, the Auto Lady, just asked me to another one of her wretched dinner parties. Well, I was planning on saying that you and I have ballet tickets, so do back me up.
Dr. Frasier Crane: I'm sorry, I can't.
Gil Chesterton: Oh, but you've got to! Have you any idea how vile her food is? The local raccoons have posted warning signs on her trash bins!
Dr. Frasier Crane: You see, she already invited me, and I told her I promised my father I'd drive him to his army reunion at Rattlesnake Ridge.
Gil Chesterton: Oh, very clever. Well, I'd use it myself, but I killed my father off to escape her Labor Day clambake.
Dr. Frasier Crane: Roz, listen, I'm going to the opera tonight. You didn't happen to remember to bring my...
Roz Doyle: Oh, your opera glasses! I'm so sorry, they completely slipped my mind.
Dr. Frasier Crane: I wouldn't really mind, if you hadn't borrowed them just to ogle that bodybuilder that moved in across the street.
Roz Doyle: Hey, I've just looked once or twice. It's not like I copied his name off his mailbox, so I could look up his number and call him while he was in the shower, so I could watch him cross the room naked to answer the phone in front of the picture window. That would be wrong.
Dr. Frasier Crane: Look, I want them back. I refuse to squint through Pagliacci while you're trying to watch "The Magic Flute!"
Daphne: You get rid of her now, or it's Rattlesnake Ridge for you.
Dr. Frasier Crane: You wouldn't!
Daphne: Oh, wouldn't I? And by the way, Stinky needs a ride.
Daphne: [referring to Clive] Oh, we were mad for each other. He was very sweet and had the most gorgeous eyes you ever saw.
Daphne: Oh yes, that, too.
Martin: What the hell is going on here?
Dr. Frasier Crane: Clive is Daphne's old boyfriend. She's trying to let him down easily by pretending to be married to Niles.
Niles: This is *my* place. Frasier's staying here temporarily because he's separated from Maris.
Martin: [to Frasier] You couldn't stand her either, huh?