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"Frasier" The Apparent Trap (TV Episode 1999) Poster

(TV Series)

(1999)

Quotes

Frasier: Who is this colleague anyway?

Lilith: He's the man who supplies me with lab rats. It's about time we got together socially. I've known him for over fifty-two generations.

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[Niles and Lilith see each other for the first time after their fling]

Frasier: It happened, take from it what you can learn, move on.

Niles: Well, I learned if you kiss her too fast you get an ice-cream headache.

Lilith: You also learned that I have twice your upper body strength, so shut your pie hole.

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Martin: Is it that you can't learn or you won't learn?

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Lilith: Daphne, is your fiance joining us?

Daphne: No, I'll be seeing him later. Donny has his own Thanksgiving tradition. He has a dinner for all the divorced men he's represented during the year. He's hosting twenty-five today.

Lilith: Wow. Twenty-five lonely, bitter men.

Daphne: Yeah, it's been a good year.

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Frederick: I'm saving the universe. Do you want to help?

Niles: I wouldn't know where to begin.

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Frederick: That's your guy, you've just escaped from an intergalactic, maximum security prison pod.

Niles: Like they could hold me.

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Niles: What's this about?

Lilith: Well, it's about an attraction that I thought was over and now I'm beginning to think, maybe it's not.

Niles: Usually in my dreams, this is where I try to run and can't.

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Lilith: If he wants something badly enough, he will figure out a way to get it. Remember when he was a baby, the bottle at the end of the maze?

Frasier: You know, I kinda regret doing that.

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Lilith: Do I know my son, or do I know my son?

Frasier: He was willing to put us through absolute hell just for a minibike?

Lilith: You know what this means, don't you?

Frasier: Yes, he's normal. We're not bad parents. Well done, Dr. Sternin.

Lilith: Well done, Dr. Crane.

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Lilith: Well, we really should get in there.

Frasier: Yes, I suppose we should. Must be sheer torment for him, waiting for the ax to fall.

Lilith: Absolute hell.

Frasier: Absolute nightmare.

Frasier: Wine?

Lilith: Love some.

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[Freddy wants a dirt bike]

Frederick: But all my friends have one.

Lilith: If all of your friends walked into a Level 4 Biohazard Area without their biohazard suits on, would you go too?

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[Niles is playing a video game and Freddy is watching]

Frederick: Wow, I didn't know you could die in the training room.

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[Lilith begins to play a video game that Niles has been unsuccessful at, Lilith gets into the first room]

Niles: Wow, I didn't know there was a door there.

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[Lillith is visiting the apartment; Eddie the dog is refusing to enter the building]

Daphne: It's like he can sense an earthquake or a dark force or... hello Lillith.

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Martin: Has the witch gone yet?

Frasier: Lilith's still here, dad.

Martin: Oh, in that case, I'll ask you too, Lilith. Has my twitch gone yet? I had some very strong coffee this morning and...

Lilith: Skillfully done, Martin.

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[Frasier is worried that Lilith is coming on to him]

Frasier: Tell you what, Dad. Take a minute and then come back in. See what you think's going on in there and then find some subtle way to tell me what you think.

Martin: All right, okay. Just give me a minute.

[a few minutes later, Martin re-enters the apartment]

Martin: Oh, excuse me again, I just came back to get an umbrella in case it rains. But I hope it doesn't, because Eddie's just dying to play this new game I taught him. I take off his leash and I say, "Run for your life!" Yep, that's exactly what I say, "Run for your life!"

Frasier: Thank you, Dad.

Martin: Okay.

[starts to leave, then]

Martin: Run for your life!

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Daphne: Beautiful job carving that turkey, Dr. Crane.

Niles: Well, I picked up a thing or two in medical school. In case you're wondering, this bird appears to have died of a massive head trauma.

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See also

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