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"Frasier" Something About Dr. Mary (TV Episode 2000) Poster

(TV Series)

(2000)

Quotes

[Niles takes up kickboxing]

Niles: You know, it requires a lot of talent. You have to have timing and balance, the ability to strike and instantly retreat.

Martin: So you kick them and then run away?

Niles: Yes. My instructor says I'm a natural.

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Niles: Oh, come now, Frasier. You can't deny a certain measure of guilt living as you do in your exclusive lily-white world.

Frasier: Niles, owning the CD of "Ella Sings Gershwin" does not qualify you as a soul brother.

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[Niles helps out after Daphne sprains her wrist]

Niles: Oh, I'll get your beer, I'm just frosting the mug in the freezer the way Daphne does.

Daphne: I never frost your beer mug.

Martin: Oh, be quiet, will you? He's feeling very guilty and we have to help him work through it.

Daphne: That is just baloney, and you know it. Shame on you, taking advantage of your son, I don't know how you sleep at night.

Martin: Well, pretty good since he started putting a mint on my pillow and a cup of cocoa by the bed.

Daphne: He never leaves me cocoa.

Martin: You have to fill out that little card.

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Frasier: What, am I getting too uppity for you? You sherry-swilling, opera-loving, Armani-wearing elitist. You have no idea how difficult it is for a black woman in a white man's world.

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Roz Doyle: Chuck Ranberg said he'd take over for the week.

Frasier: No, no, absolutely not, Roz! The man's speech impediment will make me giggle all week long.

Roz Doyle: Show a little compassion!

Frasier: Oh come on, you try dealing with a call screener who says, "Doctaw Cwane, we have a kweptomaniac on wine fwee."

Roz Doyle: Well, who do you want to use?

Frasier: Well, actually, I was thinking of reaching out to the community. You know, I was guest speaker last month at a program called "Second Start." They offer career training for people who are stuck in tedious, low-paying jobs. And, well, I'd thought I'd give the job to one of those students.

Roz Doyle: That's a great idea, Frasier. Sounds like a great program.

[Chuck enters]

Frasier: Oh, dear, there's Chuck Ranberg. Roz, you've got to tell him he doesn't have the job.

Roz Doyle: Why can't you tell him?

Frasier: I'm sorry, I can't hear the man speak without just descending into giggles!

Roz Doyle: Oh, you are such a child!

Chuck: Hi, guys!

Roz Doyle: Hey, Chuck, how's it going?

Chuck: Oh, tewwible, Woz! My wife was in the Cawwibean and she weft me for a Wastafawian!

[Roz starts laughing uncontrollably as Frasier pats her arm, trying to cover up by pretending she is crying]

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Dr. Mary: God bless your guilty white ass!

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Frasier: Thank you for your call, Jill. Well, Chuck, who else is on the line?

Chuck: Well, Doctaw Cwane, we have Winda on wine fwee who bewieves people are waffing at hew!

Frasier: [trying to contain his laughter] Maybe we can just come back to that one, shall we?

Chuck: All witey!

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Frasier: A cat can have kittens in the oven, but that don't make 'em biscuits!

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