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"Frasier" Mother Load: Part 2 (TV Episode 2002) Poster

(TV Series)

(2002)

Quotes

[Frasier sits dejectedly on the couch, clutching an empty wine bottle. Daphne walks in, past the American flag covering the windows]

Daphne Moon: Still awake, Dr. Crane?

Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes. It's almost dawn's early light, and our flag is still there.

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Daphne Moon: It was a good idea, taking Mum out today - helped take her mind off Dad.

Dr. Niles Crane: Yeah, although I'm not sure the zoo was the best idea. The sight of those amorous wolverines seemed to set her back a bit.

Daphne Moon: Amorous? I thought they were trying to kill each other.

Dr. Niles Crane: Well, either way, it seemed to remind her of something.

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Gertrude Moon: How could your father do this to me? You sleep down the hall from someone for forty years, you think you know them.

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[lamenting Cam Winston's enormous American flag hung from above, which covers every window of Frasier's apartment]

Dr. Frasier Crane: Every time I look outside, I feel like I'm living inside a giant clown's pocket.

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Martin Crane: Face it, Fras: Cam's got you on this one. Boy, I have to say, that guy is smart.

Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, really? Well, if he's so smart and you're so smart, why don't you two live together?

Martin Crane: At least he's got a view.

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[late at night, Simon has brought a women to Frasier's apartment]

Dr. Frasier Crane: I'm sorry, miss, but we are not entertaining guests this evening. You'll have to leave.

Loretta: [to Simon] Wait - you told me this was your place. You're probably not even the Duke of England.

Simon Moon: Oh, yeah? Then why do I talk this way?

Simon Moon: [to Frasier] Well, you're just a big contraceptive, aren't you?

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Dr. Frasier Crane: I've just about had it with you, Simon. You have blown my speakers, you have clogged my jacuzzi, and you have ingested half of my bath products. You are no longer welcome in my home.

Simon Moon: What, exactly, are you implying?

Dr. Frasier Crane: [shoving Simon through the door] Get out!

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Dr. Niles Crane: Well, that's, uh, that's the last of my mad money; I guess I'll have to win it back some other night.

Gertrude Moon: You better make it soon; I won't be around much longer.

Dr. Niles Crane: Not if you keep biting those filters off, you won't.

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Daphne Moon: [to her mother] Oh, and by the way: I'm no virgin - haven't been for years. You remember that boy with the lazy eye you hated so much? Yeah, he was my first! Did it right in the parlor where you take your tea. Then, there was the German who fixed Dad's car. Oh yeah, and that Irish chap I fancied, who was twice my age and had his own van - and a band! Then I came to America. Shall I go on? Well, I am a grown woman, who's made her own life and her own decisions. Now, I plan to shack up with Niles here, and damned if we aren't gonna do it every night of the week.

[Niles displays an uncomfortable grin]

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Daphne Moon: Oh, my God, look at me - I'm shaking! It just came gushing out. Once I started, I couldn't stop.

Dr. Niles Crane: I know, it's all right, it's all right - you were great. You were great - I have never been prouder of you.

Daphne Moon: I can't believe I talked to my mother that way.

Dr. Niles Crane: You must have been pretty outraged to have invented all those former lovers.

Daphne Moon: What?

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Gertrude Moon: [from the living room] I'm still waiting out here!

[Irritably, Daphne pokes her head out of the kitchen]

Daphne Moon: It's coming! Pipe down!

Gertrude Moon: Why? Am I interrupting your dirty sex?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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