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"Frasier" Moon Dance (TV Episode 1996) Poster

(TV Series)

(1996)

Quotes

Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, we've got about thirty seconds, I think we've got time for one quick call. Hello, Marlene. I'm listening.

Marlene: Oh my God! I'm really on?

Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, your problem, please...

[sound of dog barking]

Marlene: Lucky, Lucky, get down! George, get the dog! Oh my god, this is so exciting!

[sound of baby crying]

Marlene: Honey, honey, get the baby. George, get your son! Okay, okay, here it is, Dr. Crane. If my husband and I don't find some time to have sex soon, I think I'm gonna burst. I may even have to go to a department store and pick up a stranger.

[sound of man calling "Hello!"]

Marlene: Oh, kids! Look who's here without calling first, Nana and Pop Pop!

[sighs]

Marlene: I'll call you back.

[hangs up]

Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, to all you Marlenes out there, let me just say that sex with a stranger is not the answer. Why don't you just pack the kids off with Nana and Pop Pop, lock Lucky downstairs in the basement, grab your husband, take him to the sturdiest kitchen table you have, and let the postman ring twice!

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Daphne: Our bodies must be in continuous contact, with not a sliver of daylight between us.

Niles: I can do that.

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Daphne: Don't think, just feel. You're an Argentine slum dweller. You have no house, no car. You don't know where your next meal is coming from. But none of that matters, because tonight

[music flourish]

Daphne: we have the Tango.

Niles: Oh mama, I've got it all!

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Daphne: Let it out, let it all out!

Niles: Oh Daphne... I ADORE YOU!

Daphne: And I adore you too!

Niles: WHAT?

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Daphne: I knew you were a good dancer, but I had no idea you were such a good actor!

Niles: Actor...?

Daphne: 'Daphne, you're a goddess. Daphne, I adore you.' We fooled everyone, didn't we?

Niles: We certainly did.

[finally realizing that Daphne's display of affection for him was an act]

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Dr. Frasier Crane: Now to the rest of my listeners, I'll be off on vacation for the next week. So please tune in to my replacement, the noted podiatrist Dr. Gareth Wooten. He'll be discussing the virtues of his new book, "Bunions and Blisters and Corns." Oh my!

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Roz Doyle: [as Frasier leaves for his vacation] And don't forget to bring me a present.

Dr. Frasier Crane: I'll get you a nice t-shirt from colonial Williamsburg.

Roz Doyle: You're taking Frederick to Williamsburg? Eew!

Dr. Frasier Crane: No, it's a wonderful vacation spot. We're going to dip candles, tan leather, churn butter...

Roz Doyle: Hey, Frederick Crane! You just finished the first grade! What are you going to do now? "I'm going to Butterworld!"

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Martin: You think I don't see the way you look at Daphne?

Niles: What are you implying?

Martin: You know damn well what I'm implying. Take my word for it - you're sticking a fork in a toaster.

Niles: Well, my muffin's stuck!

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Niles: Just for tonight, could you call me Niles?

Daphne: When I was in school, I knew a boy named Niles, and I called him Niley.

Niles: Just for tonight, could you call me Niles?

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Lacey Lloyd: [with husband] If there's anything we can do to cheer you up, just let us know.

Niles: [aside] Perhaps a murder-suicide pact.

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Daphne: [Niles has a date with Marjory Nash, the Fruit on the Bottom Yogurt heiress] What's she like?

Niles: Well, she's terribly haughty and rumors persist about her husband's death, but still a date's a date.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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