Martin: Jeez, I though you were just going to slit your wrists. It looks like you went for death by a thousand cuts.
Frasier: I cut myself because I was shaving without water. And why was there no water? Because I had to move your chair, which gouged the floor, which made me call for Joe, who found bad pipes, who called for Cecil, who ate the cat that killed the rat that lived in the house that Frasier built.
Frasier: Would you mind if I moved your chair into your room until after the tasting?
Martin: Forget it. You might as well ask me to stay in my room.
Niles: Which takes care of the second favour.
Daphne: [trying to solve the problem of a scratch on the floor] We could put a rug over it.
Frasier: A rug... where a rug doesn't belong. Why don't we just throw down a Twister mat and have a few rounds between vintages?
Frasier: Look, I don't know what kind of twisted fantasy you've concocted about Daphne. I suppose it involves a comet hitting the earth and you and she having to rebuild the species! Well, trust me, Niles, it is not going to happen. She needs a man - one who can do more for her than just smell her hair.