Frasier: Oh, I do a great deal of shopping there. In fact I bought the comforter on Dad's bed there. Well, I suppose you noticed that. - or or or, maybe you didn't - I mean, I don't know if you had the lights on -
[Daphne puts a plate of sausages on the table]
Frasier: Banger, Dad?
Frasier: [surprised to find his father's date spent the night] So, what did you two kids do last night? Play some games? - I mean board games. - Not that you were bored - or excited - not that I'd know anything - or should - but... warm buns, Elaine! No, not yours! Ours, ours! To eat, you see!
Frasier: Thank you for your call, Jeanine. Roz, whom do we have next?
Roz Doyle: We have Ethan on line three, and he's having a little problem at school.
Frasier: Hello, Ethan. I'm listening.
Ethan: Hi, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: How old are you?
Ethan: I'm thirteen.
Frasier: Well, uh, what can I do for you?
Ethan: Well, I'm having a lot of problems with the other kids at school. They're always beating me up.
Frasier: Why do you think that's so?
Ethan: Probably because I'm smart. I have a 160 IQ. I'm in the astronomy club and I hate sports.
Frasier: Well, Ethan, you know, the other children are just acting out of jealousy and immaturity, and I know it doesn't help much right now, but the day will come in the next few years when you will have the last laugh.
Ethan: That's it?
Ethan: Frankly, Dr. Crane, I find that advice patronizing, simplistic, and in all candor, uninspired. The real surprise here is they pay you to dole out this balloon juice.
Frasier: Ethan, where are you calling from?
Frasier: Well, if any of Ethan's classmates are listening, you know where he is, and he can't stay in there forever. Thank you for your call.
Daphne: I've been sending Elaine psychic messages all day.
Frasier: You can transmit? I thought you were just a receiver.
Daphne: Well, I'm giving it a try. You know - "Elaine in 1410, come to dinner! Come to dinner!
Frasier: Well that's very charming, but Elaine's in 1412.
Daphne: Oh dear. I guess I'd better set another place at the table.
Martin Crane: Hey, for your information, people of our generation think sex is a private thing. And I still think that's a pretty healthy way of looking at it. Sex is something between you and the person you're doing it to!