Dr. Frasier Crane: I am going to get another job. The people of this city need me. I'm a beloved Seattle institution.
Martin Crane: [aside] A couple more days like this, he's gonna be *in* a beloved Seattle institution.
Aaron: It's cool isn't it? Your brother having his own club?
Dr. Niles Crane: Yeah, well. Seeing all of you, I sort of wish I had a club myself.
Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe: Hey doc. Roz. Wait till you hear this. I got a job today.
Dr. Frasier Crane: Really?
Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe: You ought to rub me for good luck.
Roz Doyle: Where?
Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe: Well start on my knee, work your way up.
Roz Doyle: Where's the job?
Bob 'Bulldog' Briscoe: Oh, it's this new all-sports station. I got the breakfast slot. I even came up with a slogan: 'Coffee, eggs and Bulldog.'
Dr. Frasier Crane: Sounds like some sort of a Malaysian Happy Meal.
Gil Chesterton: A word of caution on the hummus: To be avoided, as a leper would avoid a magic teacup ride.
Roz Doyle: Gil, Frasier made that.
Gil Chesterton: Oh I'm so sorry.
Dr. Frasier Crane: It's quite all right. I understand. You need to flex your critical muscles while you're between jobs.
Gil Chesterton: Oh good, then you might enjoy this one: After sampling your unnuanced baba ganoush, I was tempted to describe your entire Middle-Eastern buffet as 'The Sorrow and the Pita.' Oh who's got a pencil, I've got to write that one down.
Roz Doyle: [an unemployed Frasier is lying on the couch, sobbing.] Frasier, it's all in how you look at things. Look at my life...
Dr. Frasier Crane: [still crying] No career, no relationship, no hope!
Roz Doyle: You can say the same thing about me.
Dr. Frasier Crane: I was talking about you!
[Roz smacks him]
Daphne Moon: Dr. Crane, my Grammy Moon used to say--
[Frasier yells loudly.]
Martin Crane: What are you trying to do, kill him?
Dr. Frasier Crane: You're just in time, I'm throwing a party for my fan club.
Martin Crane: Here?
Dr. Niles Crane: Is there some problem with the bridge they normally meet under?
Dr. Niles Crane: How's Frasier doing?
Martin Crane: He's getting weirder, he beat up a pinata yesterday.
Dr. Niles Crane: Isn't that what you're SUPPOSED to do to a pinata?
Martin Crane: Not like this. They found a jawbreaker on the other side of the highway.
Dr. Niles Crane: Frasier, you're not famous ANYMORE!
[Frasier starts bawling]
Martin Crane: What in the hell did you do that for?
Dr. Niles Crane: Dad, he needed a push.
Martin Crane: But look at him! This can't be good!
Dr. Niles Crane: No, it IS good. Let it all out, Frasier, let it all out, good, that's right.
[Frasier carries on]
Dr. Niles Crane: That's probably enough now, okay.
Martin Crane: How much more can be in there?
Dr. Niles Crane: Okay, alright, yeah. That's probably enough now.
Dr. Niles Crane: I don't think I can get him to stop.
Martin Crane: But this is sickening!
Daphne Moon: What're we gonna do?
Martin Crane: Somebody get that Monte Cristo in there!
Daphne Moon: [Frasier is having a hysterical breakdown] Well don't blame this on me! She brought the bloody tape over!
Roz Doyle: Oh, so this is all my fault? You saw that tape!
Daphne Moon: I've seen your baby too, she could stand to miss a meal or two!
Roz Doyle: She's a healthy baby!
Dr. Frasier Crane: [sending Daphne to the storage room with a heavy box she just brought up] Thank you, Daphne, and when you're done with that I need you to run some errands for me. I need a very sturdy lemon zester, some more music paper some potting soil, and an easel.
Daphne Moon: Oh, be happy to!
[Niles comes in behind her]
Daphne Moon: Then after that maybe I can draw a bath, strip you naked and scrub you with a loofah, would that be alright, Dr. Crane?
Dr. Niles Crane: Yes.
Daphne Moon: [turns around and laughs] Oh, I didn't even see you standing there!