Daphne: Dr. Crane, I know what you're going to do!
Niles: You do?
Daphne: Not you, Dr. Crane, Dr. Crane! And you can't fire me, because I quit!
Daphne: After all I've done to save you money! I'm washing my face with dish soap while you're out buying imported bath salts like a big rich girl! I hope you rot in debtors' prison!
Roz: How's your new girlfriend?
Frasier: I allowed her to climb to the first base camp on Mount Crane and I believe she's feeling the effects of the altitude.
Roz: Is one of them nausea? Cause I'm getting that right now.
[on the Fourth of July, Frasier looks at his balcony rail]
Frasier: Wait a minute. Is my bunting a-droop? It's supposed to drape evenly. Oh, for God's sakes.
Daphne: You're not going to send me back to the Space Needle with binoculars and a walkie-talkie again, are you?
Frasier: Niles, will you please stop being so morose? It is Thanksgiving.
Niles: Oh, you're right! I should count my blessings: I'm in the midst of a bitter divorce. Maris is freezing my assets, forcing me to live in the Shangri-La, which is the devil's own apartment complex. Where, last night, they turned off my heat, re-freezing my assets.
[Locked out on Frasier's balcony before a Fourth of July parade]
Roz: This sucks, I don't even have my cell phone. Don't you have your cell phone, Frasier?
Frasier: Roz, I'm Uncle Sam, I don't have a cell phone. I shouldn't even have this zipper.
Frasier: [referring to Niles's sex life] You know the "S.S. Ain't Gettin' Any"? Man overboard!
Frasier: All I said to Maris was, "Why the long face?"
Niles: Yes, and now, thanks to you, she's on the phone to her chin grinder in Zurich.