Bebe: Do you have any idea how hot you are? I get offers everyday from other stations offering the moon for you.
Frasier: Good Lord, am I really that hot?
Bebe: Are you kidding? If I were a pot roast, I'd be done.
Niles: Hello, I'm Niles, a person at the table.
Bebe: Niles, thank God you're here. Back me up. Give him some sound, brotherly advice.
Niles: She's the Devil, Frasier. Run fast, run far.
[Bebe and Frasier have slept together]
Frasier: All right, just go ahead. Get your shots in.
Niles: No, no. I'm just glad you're all right. I would have assumed she killed after mating.
Martin: Well, I think I'm going to hit the hay too.
Bebe: That's awfully risky of you, isn't it? Leaving us "kids" out here unchaperoned.
Martin: Better him than me.
Frasier: What kind of a woman are you? You seduced me, you lied to me, you nearly got me killed. You've shamelessly manipulated not only me but the station, the news media, and the entire city of Seattle. What do you have to say for yourself?
Bebe: Aren't you glad I'm on your side?
Niles: Oh, dear, don't turn around. It's that dreadful woman who works for you.
Niles: Um... Lady Macbeth without the sincerity.
Frasier: Oh! Oh, Bebe's here! Now listen, Niles, I care for her just as little as you do, but she is a terrific agent, which is why I overlook the fact that she's pushy and obnoxious and the most appalling phony I've ever known.
Frasier: Bebe, darling, how are you?
Frasier: Once a woman has dipped her toe into Crane Lake, dry land is never the same again.
Niles: Yes, she's probably home in her room writing "Mrs. Bebe Crane" over and over in the margin of her algebra book.
Daphne Moon: Here we are! One cup of tea - half Darjeeling, half Chamomile, skim milk, a packet of sweetener - oh, and I thought you might enjoy a nice fat-free tea biscuit. Will there be anything else?
Bebe: No. You run along, I'm fine.
Daphne Moon: You're sure now? Because I could wait 'til you finish the biscuit and floss your teeth for you.
Bebe: You are a cheeky little monkey, aren't you?
[bites the biscuit]
Bebe: This cookie tastes like meat!
Daphne Moon: Yes, and it'll remove tartar and give you a nice, shiny coat!
Martin: [Martin comes in, sees Frasier and peels open one of his eyelids. Frasier starts awake] Sorry, Eddie, he's still alive. You're not gonna get your own room after all.
Frasier: Ohhh, God.
Martin: How're you feeling?
Frasier: How do I look?
Martin: Last time I saw a guy who looked like you, he'd been in the trunk of a car at the airport for a month.