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"Firefly" Shindig (TV Episode 2002) Poster

(TV Series)

(2002)

Quotes

Sir Warwick Harrow: You have to finish it, lad. You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten... and yet breathing? It makes him a coward.

Inara Serra: It's humiliation.

Mal: Sure. It would be humiliating. Having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man.

[lightly stabs Atherton with the sword]

Mal: Guess I'm just a good man.

[stabs him again]

Mal: Well, I'm all right.

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River Tam: [mimicking Badger's Cockney accent] Sure, I got a secret; more 'n one. Don't seem likely I tell 'em to you, now, do it? Anyone off Titan colony knows better 'n to talk to strangers. You're talkin' loud enough for the both of us, though, ain't ya? I've met a dozen like you. Skipped off-home early. Minor graft jobs here and there. Spent some time in the lockdown, but less than you claim. And you're, what, a petty thief with delusions standing? Sad little king of a sad little hill.

Badger: Nice to see someone from the old homestead.

River Tam: Not really. Call me if anyone interesting shows up.

Badger: I like her.

Jayne: [Whispering to the crew after River leaves] That there - exactly the kind of diversion we could have used.

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Mal: How would you even set up a meet, man won't deal with you?

Badger: Know a place he'll be. Safe place. Using some new tech gun scans. High class, too. Won't let me in there. You might slip in. Of course, you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle. I got my hands on a couple.

[Mal and Jayne struggle to not laugh]

Badger: Of invites.

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Murphy: [after telling off a group of girls who were being rude to Kaylee] Forgive my rudeness. I cannot abide useless people.

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Mal: 'Kay, help me find our man. He's supposed to be older, kind of stocky, wears a red sash crossways.

Kaylee: Why does he do that?

Mal: Maybe he won the Miss Persephone pageant. Just help me look.

Kaylee: Is that him?

Mal: That's the buffet table.

Kaylee: Well, how can we be sure, u-unless we question it?

[smiles widely]

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Inara: I am grateful, you know, for the ill-conceived and high-handed attempt to defend my honor, although, I didn't want you to.

Mal: Gracious as that is...

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Wash: Seem to you we cleared out of Santho in a hurry?

Zoë: Seems to me we do that a lot. Heard tell, though, we're gonna stay a while on Persephone.

Wash: Shiny.

Zoë: Yeah? Thought you get land crazy that long in port.

Wash: Probably, but I've been sane a long while now, and change is good.

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Wash: You are acting captain. Know what happens you fall asleep now?

Zoë: Jayne slits my throat and takes over.

Wash: That's right.

Zoë: And we can't stop it.

Wash: Well, I wash my hands of it. It's a hopeless case. I'll read a nice poem at the funeral, something with imagery.

Zoë: You could lock the door and keep the power-hungry maniac at bay.

Wash: I don't know. I'm starting to like this poetry idea now. "Here lies my beloved Zoë, my autumn flower, somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross."

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Sir Warwick Harrow: Whom do you represent?

Mal: Represent isn't exactly the...

Sir Warwick Harrow: Don't waste my time.

Mal: Fellow called Badger.

Sir Warwick Harrow: I know him, and I think he's a psychotic lowlife.

Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community.

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Murphy: Why Banning Miller, what a vision you are in your fine dress. It must have taken a dozen slaves a dozen days to get you into that getup. 'Course your daddy tells me it takes the space of a schoolboy's wink to get you out of it again.

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Jayne: [drinking tea] This ain't bad.

Badger: There's a trick to it. Wood alcohol.

Mal: Now, we're favored guests, treated to the finest in beverages that make you blind.

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Mal: Resupply, look for work, move along. We sniff the air. We don't kiss the dirt.

Zoë: Wasn't planning on the dirt kissin', sir.

Wash: I wouldn't stand for it anyway, Captain, jealous man like me.

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Badger: Captain Reynolds. Heard you was in town. Thought we might have a bit of a sit-down.

Mal: Prefer a bit of a "piss off".

Badger: I'm very sorry. Did I give you the impression I was askin'?

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Atherton Wing: You belong here, Inara, not on that flying piece of go-se. You see that, don't you?

Inara: Atherton, language.

Atherton Wing: What? "Piece of go-se"? But it is a piece of go-se.

Major Domo: Miss Kaywinnet Lee Frye and escort.

Inara: Kaylee?

[Kaylee enters with Mal]

Inara: Oh, go-se.

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Mal: Beg pardon, but would you be Mr. Warrick Harrow?

Sir Warwick Harrow: *Sir* Warrick Harrow. The sash.

Mal: The sash?

Sir Warwick Harrow: It indicates lord-hood.

Mal: And it's - it's doing a great job.

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Younger Hopeful: I understand your time on our planet is limited, and if you've selected my proposal to hear, then the honor you do me flatters my... my honor.

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Inara: I've seen him before.

Mal: Oh, I never did. Not what I pictured. Young. Must be rich, to afford your rates.

Inara: I suppose. He has engaged me for several days.

Mal: Days? Boy must have stamina.

Inara: Mmm. He does.

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Mal: It sounds like the finest party I could imagine gettin' paid to go to.

Inara: I don't suppose you'd find it up to the standards of your outings. More conversation and somewhat less petty theft and getting hit with pool cues.

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Mal: Does, uh... does this seem kind of tight?

Kaylee: Shows off your backside. Did you see the chandelier? It's hovering.

Mal: What's the point of that, I wonder?

Kaylee: Oh, mangos!

Mal: I mean, I see how they did it. I just ain't gettin' the why.

Kaylee: These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I. How 'bout that?

Mal: Yeah, well, just be careful. We cheated Badger out of good money to buy that frippery, and you're supposed to make me look respectable.

Kaylee: Yes, sir, Cap'n Tight-Pants.

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Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: [off an alarm sounding from the console] Closing in.

Zoë Washburne: Planet's comin' up a mite fast.

Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Ah, that's just 'cause I'm goin' down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all.

Mal: Well, that happens, let me know.

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Kaylee: Up until the punching, it was a real nice party.

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Mal: Whoa, whoa, I'm not runnin' off. I don't know what you got in your head, but I didn't do this to prove some kind of point to you. I actually thought I was defending your honor. And I never back down from a fight.

Inara: Yes, you do. You do all the time.

Mal: Well, yeah. But, I'm not backin' down from this one.

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Kaylee: I'm not saying the 80-04's hard to repair. It just ain't worth it.

Older Farmer: It's a fine machine, you just keep it tuned.

Kaylee: T-sai boo shr! The extenders ain't braced.

Murphy: I've been telling him to buy an 80-10 for years.

Kaylee: Those tenders snap off, don't matter how good the engine's cycling.

Younger Farmer: Miss Kaylee, I wonder if I could request the honor of having this...

Murphy: [interrupting] Wait a minute, let her talk! She's talkin'.

Kaylee: By the way, the 80-10's the same machine. They just changed the plating, hoped no one noticed.

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Jayne: We was just about to spring into action, Captain. Complicated escape and rescue op.

Wash: I was gonna watch. It was very exciting.

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Mal: Now, you taking on this job - being my second - does this mean we're in business?

Sir Warwick Harrow: It means you're in mortal danger. But you mussed up Atherton's face, and that has endeared you to me somewhat.

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Inara: You have a strange sense of nobility Captain. You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore but you keep calling me one to my face.

Mal: I might not show respect to your job, but he didn't respect *you*. That's the difference. Inara, he doesn't even see you.

Inara: Well, I guess death will solve the issue to everyone's satisfaction.

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Atherton Wing: Well, get ready to starve. I'll see to it you never work again.

Inara: Actually, that's not how it works. You see, you've earned yourself a black mark in the client registry. No companion is going to contract with you ever again.

Sir Warwick Harrow: You'll have to rely on your winning personality to get women. God help you.

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Dr. Simon Tam: The Captain's a good fighter, he must know how to handle a sword.

Zoë: I think he knows which end to hold.

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Mal: You backed out of a deal last time. Left us hangin'?

Jayne: Hurt our feelings.

Mal: You recall why that took place?

Badger: Had a problem with your attitude, is why. Felt you was - what's the word?

Jayne: Pretentious?

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Atherton Wing: Half the men in this room wish you were on their arm, tonight.

Inara: Only half? I must be losing my indefinable allure.

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Shepherd Book: [after River tears the labels off several food packages] We'll have a few mystery meals.

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Sir Warwick Harrow: You willing to fight that hard to protect my property, I'll have it in your hold before midnight.

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Kaylee Frye: [pointing to a pink frilly dress] Say, look at the fluffy one!

Zoë Washburne: Too much foofaraw. If I'm going to wear a dress, I'd want something with some slink.

Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?

Jayne Cobb: I'll chip in.

Zoë Washburne: [to Jayne] I can hurt you.

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Wash: I like our party better. The dress code's easier and I know all the steps.

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Mal: Ath - can I call you Ath?

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Mal: See how I'm not punching him? I think I've grown.

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Jayne: What we need's a diversion. I say Zoë gets nekked.

Wash: Nope.

Jayne: I could get nekked.

WashDr. Simon Tam: No!

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Sir Warwick Harrow: You didn't have to wound that man.

Mal: Yeah, I know, it was just funny.

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[Inara is teaching Mal how to fence; Mal just missed and got smacked on the behind]

Inara: How did I avoid that?

Mal: By being fast like a freak?

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Mal: In the case that it happens, it means he's the fella who killed me. And I don't like fellas who kills me, not in general.

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Inara: Are you in pain?

Mal: Absolutely, I got stabbed you know, right here.

[lifts shirt to show a bloodstained bandage on side of abdomen]

Inara: I saw.

Mal: I don't care much for fancy parties. Too rough.

Inara: It wasn't entirely a disaster.

Mal: [lifts his shirt again] I got stabbed. Right here.

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Inara Serra: Besides, why would I wanna leave Serenity?

Mal: Can't think of a reason.

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Mal: It's good to have cargo. Makes us a target for every other scavenger out there of course, but, sometimes that's fun too.

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Mal: [after being told that use of a sword will be provided for a duel] Use of a s-what?

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Badger: Won't deal with me direct. He's takin' an irrational dislike.

Jayne: What happened? He see your face?

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Kaylee: Look at the pretties!

Wash: What am I looking at, the girls or the clothes?

Jayne: There's girls?

Zoë: The clothes please.

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Inara Serra: [Inara is watching Jayne and Mal play doubles pool] As with other situations, the key seems to be... giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back.

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Kaylee Frye: Don't you just love this party? Everything's so fancy, and there's some kind of hot cheese over there.

Cabott: It's not as good as last year.

Kaylee Frye: Oh, really? What-what'd they have last year?

Cabott: Standards.

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Atherton Wing: [after Mal punches Atherton] I accept!

Mal: [confused] Good!

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Mal: Might ought to clear out before too much longer. Seems there's a thief about.

Inara: A thief?

Mal: Took this right off him.

[Shows Inara a wad of money he stole from a group of slave-traders]

Mal: Now they earned that with the sweat of their slave-trading brows.

Inara: [Inara states in disapproving shock] Mal!

Mal: Aw, terrible shame. Course they won't discover it till they go order their next round of drinks.

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Inara: [after accompanying the crew to a Border Planet Bar and witnessing a drunken brawl] Lovely place, I'll tell my friends.

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Inara: Good afternoon, Captain.

Mal: Morning. We're downing, and in case that Wash don't kill us all, local time's going to be in the a.m.

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Inara: These people like me and I like them. I like Atherton too by the way.

Mal: Well sure, what's not to like. I'm liable to sleep with him myself.

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Inara: Atherton's a heavy sleeper the night before a big day. He's got that killing in the morning, and a haircut later.

Mal: Such a comfort, having friends visit at a time like this.

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Inara: [about Atherton] You did manage to push him into saying something, yes. Made a nice justification for the punch.

Mal: Well, he insulted you. I hit him. Seemed like the thing to do.

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Kaylee: [about the Captain] He said not to do anything. He'll join us after he wins the duel.

Zoë: It doesn't hurt to have a contingency plan, Kaylee.

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Jayne: [to the crew, about their plan to take out Badger's people and rescue Mal] Doc is filling Shepherd in on the plan. Doc is the diversion.

Mal: [Entering the ship] Did you ever see such a lazy crew.

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Mal: [to Inara, after his duel with Atherton] Mighty fine shindig.

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Atherton Wing: Now there's the smile made of sunlight.

Inara: Atherton, how wonderful to see you.

Atherton Wing: Did you get my message? I was extra appealing.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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