Patron: [River is about to be burned at the stake] This is a holy cleansing. You cannot think to thwart God's will.
Mal: Y'all see the man hangin' out of the spaceship with the really big gun? I'm not saying you weren't easy to find, but it was kind of out of our way and he didn't wanna come in the first place. Man's lookin' to kill some folk. So really it's his will y'all should worry about thwarting.
Mal: [to Simon] Gotta say, Doctor, your talent for alienatin' folks is near miraculous.
Simon: Yes, I'm very proud.
Mal: [about River] Cut her down.
Patron: The girl is a witch.
Mal: Yeah, but she's our witch.
[Cocks shotgun and aims at Town Patron]
Mal: So cut her the hell down.
Zoë: Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it somethin' smaller.
Wash: Yeah, we should start dealing in those black market beagles.
[Simon has taken River out to a shop and she keeps touching everything]
Dr. Simon Tam: River, b- uh, be careful with that, that's, um... What is that?
Kaylee Frye: That's a post holer. You dig holes. For posts.
Dr. Simon Tam: It's, uh, it's dirty and sharp.
River Tam: The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.
Mal: See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like.
ZoÎ: Captain will come up with a plan.
Kaylee: Well, that's good.
ZoÎ: Possible you're not recalling some of his previous plans.
Zoë: You sanguine about the kinda reception we're apt to receive on an Alliance ship, Captain?
Mal: Absolutely. What's "sanguine" mean?
Zoë: Sanguine. Hopeful. Plus, point of interest, it also means "bloody".
Mal: Well, that pretty much covers all the options, don't it?
River: Little soul, big world. Eat, sleep, and eat. Many souls.
Mal: Cattle on the ship three weeks, she don't go near 'em. Suddenly we're on Jianying, and she's got a driving need to commune with the beasts?
River: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are.
Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?
Mal: Well look at this. 'Pears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.
Simon: Captain, why did you come back for us?
Mal: You're on my crew.
Simon: Yeah, but you don't even like me. Why'd you come back?
Mal: You're on my crew. Why we still talking about this?
Gabriel Tam: I had to leave your mother at the dinner table!
Dr. Simon Tam: I'm sorry dad. You know I would never have tried to save River's life if I had known there was a dinner party at risk.
Mal: You know, they walk just as easy if you lead 'em.
Jayne: I like smackin' 'em.
Captain Reynolds: Never goes smooth. How come it never goes smooth?
River Tam: Ruby doesn't talk. Her voice got scared away.
[gets distracted and smiles]
River Tam: I hear crickets.
Doralee: I don't understand. If Ruby didn't talk, how do you know...?
Dr. Simon Tam: Um, uh, my sister's... she-she's very good at- What's wrong?
Doralee: "And they shall be among the people, and they shall speak truths and whisper secrets, and you will know them by their crafts."
Dr. Simon Tam: What are you talking about?
Doralee: "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."
Gabriel Tam: [after young Simon swears in Chinese] Language, young man.
Young Simon: Sorry, Dad. The Independents attacked us with dinosaurs.
Young River: Simon lost his head in the heat of battle.
Gabriel Tam: [Chuckles and says something in Chinese] Because there were dinosaurs involved, I think we'll let it slide.
Book: That's... that's quite a lot of blood, isn't it?
Mal: Just means you ain't dead.
Book: 'Fraid I might be needin' a preacher.
Mal: That's good. You lie there and be ironical.
River Tam: I remember everything. I remember too much. And some of it's made up, and some of it can't be quantified, and there's secrets, and...
Simon: Hey, i-it's okay.
River Tam: But, I understand. You gave up everything you had to find me. You found me broken. It's hard for you. You gave up everything you had.
Simon: Mei-mei, everything I have is right here.
Mal: This is the last time. Last time with cows. Hear there was an idea regarding beagles? They have smallish droppings?
Inara: Does it seem every supply store on every border planet has the same five rag dolls and the same wood carvings of... What is this, a duck?
Kaylee: It's a swan. I like it.
Inara: You do?
Kaylee: Looks like it was made with, you know, longing. Made by a person really longed to see a swan.
Inara: Perhaps because they'd only heard of them by rough description.
[flipping through Simon's journal]
Jayne: "Dear diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."
Book: Folks like a man of God.
Mal: No, they don't. Men of God make everyone feel guilty and judged.
Simon: So, finally a decent wound on this ship and I miss out. I'm sorry.
Mal: Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens.
Zoë: Badger just hailed us. Gettin' impatient for his share. Wants us to drop it to his men on the Kowlan Fed Base.
Jayne: That'd be a hell of a lot easier to do without the two most wanted on board. Life would look to be simpler us not carrying fugies.
Zoë: He is right, you know.
Mal: Yeah. Simpler.
Dr. Simon Tam: Why'd you come back for us?
Mal: You're on my crew.
Dr. Simon Tam: But you don't even like me. Why'd you come back?
Mal: You're on my crew. Why are we still talking about this?
Town Patron: This is a holy cleansing. You cannot thwart God's will.
Mal: Ya'll see the man hanging out of the spaceship with a really big gun?... and he didn't really want to come in the first place. The man's looking to kill some folk. So really it's his will you should worry about thwarting.
Town Patron: The girl is a witch.
Mal: Yeah, but she's our witch, so cut her the hell down.