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Memorable quotes for
"Firefly" Bushwhacked (2002)

Dr. Simon Tam: [talking about River] I don't know if I'll be able to help her here; and I need to help her.
Inara Serra: Simon, you are. Leaving your whole world behind? That's incredibly selfless.
Dr. Simon Tam: Yeah. I *selflessly* turned us both into wanted fugitives.

---

Zoë Washburne: Proximity alert. Must be coming up on something.
Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: [alarmed] Oh, my God. What can it be? We're all doomed!
[shouts]
Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Who's flying this thing!?
Zoë Washburne: [straight faced]
Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Oh right, that would be me. Uh, back to work.
Kaylee: So I guess that makes us one man short.
Jayne: Little Kaylee's always one man short.
[laughs; Kaylee punches his arm lightly]
Jayne: Ow! Hey!

---

Mal: [on the bridge; all looking at the ship that set of the proximity alarm]
Mal: Bring us in a little closer.
Wash: Get you close enough to ring the doorbell.
Dr. Simon Tam: What is it?
[standing in the doorway, completely out of sight; softly, as if talking to herself]
River Tam: It's a ghost.
[half smiles briefly]

---

Jayne: Tell you what I think. I figure that fella we run into did everyone on board. Killed 'em all. Then he decided to take a swim, see how fast his blood would boil out his ears.
Wash: You're a very "up" person.

---

Book: Shouldn't we report this?
Mal: To who? Alliance? Right. They're gonna run right out here lickety-split, make sure these taxpayers are okay.

---

Dr. Simon Tam: [as Simon watches Mal and Zoe put on space suits]
Jayne: Somethin' wrong?
Dr. Simon Tam: [distractedly] Hmm. Oh. No. No, I... Well I suppose it's just the thought of a little..Mylar and glass being the only thing seperating a person from...nothing.
Jayne: It's impressive what "nothing" can do to a man. Like that feller we bumped into. He's likely stuck up under our belly about now.

---

Dr. Simon Tam: [River's sitting up in bed, face hidden in her hair & hands; panting & sobbing softly]
Dr. Simon Tam: Bad dreams again?
River Tam: No I - I can't sleep. There's too much screaming.
Dr. Simon Tam: [pause, River still sobbing; sounds slightly worried] River, there is - there is no screaming
River Tam: [looking straight at him; whispers] There was.

---

Mal: It's a real burden being right so often.

---

Mal: You tell me right now, little Kaylee. You really think you can do this?
Kaylee: Sure. Yeah. I think so. Besides, if I mess up, it's not like you'll be able to yell at me.

---

Commander Harken: [has ordered the crew to be taken into custody] I want every inch of this junker tossed.
Kaylee: [offended] "Junker"?
Mal: Settle down, Kaylee.
Kaylee: But Captain, did you hear what that purple-belly called Serenity?
Mal: Shut up!

---

[the crew is being interrogated individually]
Commander Harken: You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?
Zoë: [terse; slightly irritated tone] Fought with a lot of people in the war.
Commander Harken: And your husband.
Zoë: Fight with him sometimes, too.
Commander Harken: Is there any particular reason you don't wish to discuss your marriage?
Zoë: Don't see that it's any of your business, is all. We're very private people.
[in Wash's interrogation]
Wash: [enthusiastic; animated] The legs!
[chuckles]
Wash: Oh, yeah! I definitely have to say it was her legs. You can put that down! Her legs, and right where her legs meet her back. That - actually that whole area. That and - and above it.
[in Kaylee's interrogation]
Kaylee: [angry; slightly defensive] Six gerslters crammed right under every cooling drive so that you strain your primary artery function and you end up having to recycle secondary exaust through a bypass system...just so's you don't end up pumping it through the main atmofeed and asphyxiating the entire crew. Now *that's* junk!
[back to Wash]
Wash: [very enthusiastically] Have you seen what she wears? Forget about it. Have you ever been with a warrior woman?

---

Mal: Okay. Wash, ask Serenity to knock for us?

---

Book: How we treat our dead is part of what makes us different...than those did the slaughtering.

---

Jayne: We're sittin' put for a funeral?
Mal: Yes, Jayne. That's exactly what we're gonna do. Not gonna have these people lookin' over my shoulder once we're gone. I ain't sayin' there's any peace to be had, but on the off chance there is, those folks deserve a little of it.
Inara Serra: Just when I think I've got you figured out.

---

Zoë: [on the derelict, looking around at the passengers cargo] Sir, even on a lifeboat, you think those who escaped would fine room for some of this.
Mal: [Mal sees River, looking up at something with fear and sadness]
Mal: Nobody escaped.
Zoë: Sir?
[both turn flashlights up]
Mal: Nobody.
[we see a string of naked mutilated bodies hanging by a chain]
Zoë: My God.
Mal: [speaks chinese] I know what did this.

---

[upon seeing the Survivor, who attacked Jayne earlier]
Dr. Simon Tam: [sarcastically] Oh, yes. He's a real beast! It's a wonder you're still alive.
Jayne: Looked bigger when I couldn't see 'im.

---

The Survivor: [in the infirmiry; grunting, panting] Cattle. Cattle for the slaughter.
[Mal follows his line of sight; realizes, with horror, he's looking at Kaylee and Inara]
Mal: Dope him.
Dr. Simon Tam: [having missed what Mal saw] I don't think that-
Mal: Just do it!
The Survivor: No mercy. No resistance.
[Simon gets a syringe; the Survivor grabs his arm as he injects the medication & looks him straight in the eye]
The Survivor: Open up. See..what's inside.
[Simon removes the Survivor's hand; he relaxes but continues muttering softly]

---

Book: Whatever horror he witnessed, whatever acts of barberism it was done by men, nothing more.
Jayne: Reaver's ain't men.
Book: Of course they are. Too long removed from civilization perhaps, but men. And, I believe there's a power greater than men. A power that heals.
Mal: Reavers might take issue with that philosophy...if they *had* a philosophy...and they weren't too busy gnawing on your insides. Jayne's right. Reavers ain't men. Or they forgot how to be. Come to just nothin'. They got out to the edge of the galaxy, to that place of nothin', and that's what they became.

---

Jayne: [uneasy] Oh, I ain't goin' over there with them bodies.
[note of fear]
Jayne: No rutting way. Not if reavers messed with 'em.
Zoë: [nonchalant] Jayne - you'll scare the women.

---

Mal: Well, quite a lot of fuss. If I didn't know better, I'd think we were dangerous.

---

Commander Harken: Looks to me like an illegal salvage operation.
Mal: It does? That's discouraging.

---

Captain Reynolds: I'm gonna...make a leap here and figure this is your first tour out here on the border.
Commander Harken: [audibly drops the file he was sifting through on the table; sniffs] It's a very loyal crew you have there.
Commander Harken: [Mal smiles briefly with pride] But then, I can tell by your record you have a-a tendency to inspire that quality in people...Sergeant.
Captain Reynolds: It's not Sergeant. Not anymore. War's over.
Commander Harken: For some the war'll never be over.

---

Commander Harken: I notice your ship's called "Serenity". You were stationed on Hera at the end of the war. Battle of Serenity Valley took place there, if I recall.
Captain Reynolds: [slightly sarcastic] You know, I believe you might be right.
Commander Harken: Independents suffered a pretty crushing defeat there. Some say that after Serenity, the Browncoats were through. That the war ended in that valley.
Captain Reynolds: Hmm.
Commander Harken: Seems odd you'd name your ship after a battle you were on the wrong side of.
Captain Reynolds: May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.

---

Captain Reynolds: So we attacked that ship, then brought the only living survivor to our infirmiry. Is that what we did?
Commander Harken: I'd ask him.....only I'm not sure he'll be able to speak with his tounge split down the middle.
Captain Reynolds: [Mal's eyes widen slightly with shock; mutters to himself in Chinese]
Commander Harken: I haven't seen that kind of torture since...well since the war.
Captain Reynolds: [sighs, almost a whisper] I should have known.
Commander Harken: You and you crew are bound by law. Formal charges will be transmitted to the central authority.
Captain Reynolds: Commander, I'm not what you need to be concerned about right now. Things go the way they are, there's gonna be blood.

---

Jayne: You save his gorram life. He still takes the cargo.
[mutters Chinese]
Mal: He had to. Couldn't let us profit. Wouldn't be 'civilized'.

---

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