Simon: This is the recovery ward. This is where patients come to get better.
River: They're going to die.
Simon: No one is going to die.
River: [points] He is.
Inara Serra: What's going on here?
Kaylee Frye: Oh, well, let's see. We killed Simon and River, stole a bunch of medicine, and now the Captain and Zoë are off springing the others got snatched by the feds. Oh, 'n here they are now!
Wash: Could you please tell my wife the fun she's missing out on?
Inara: Ariel's quite a nice place, actually. There are some beautiful museums, not to mention some of the finest restaurants in the Core.
Wash: But... not boring, like she made it sound.
Wash: So... two days in a hospital. That's awful. Don't you just hate doctors?
Wash: I mean, present company excluded.
Jayne: Let's not be excluding people. That'd be rude.
[after slashing Jayne with a knife]
River: He looks better in red.
[at a scrap yard]
Kaylee: Figures, first time on the Core, and what do I get to do? Dig through trash. Couldn't he send me shoppin' at the Tri-plex, or... Ooh! Synchronizers!
Agent McGinnis: Get up.
Simon: What's going to happen to us?
Agent McGinnis: I said, "Get up."
Simon: Agent McGinnis, I'm certain you're working under a superior who's keeping close tabs on this case. I'm certain of that because important people don't do fieldwork. I'm also quite certain your superior wants me and my sister alive. Now, I'm not going to move from this spot until one of two things happens: You answer my very simple question, or you shoot me.
Agent McGinnis: [coldly] We are transferring you to a holding area until you can be retrieved.
Simon: Retrieved. By whom?
Agent McGinnis: People who want you alive. People not me.
Mal: The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.
Jayne: What are you taking this so personal for? It ain't like I ratted you out to the feds!
Mal: Oh, but you did. You turn on any of my crew, you turn on me! But since that's a concept you can't seem to wrap your head around then you got no place here! You did it to me, Jayne, and that's a fact.
Mal: Now all we need are a couple of patients.
Dr. Simon Tam: Corpses, actually. For this to work, River and I will have to be dead.
Jayne: Huh. I'm startin' to like this plan.
[Jayne spits on his whetstone]
Simon: Could you not do that while we're - ever?
[Jayne spits on stone again]
Mal: You could've got off with Shepherd Book at the Bathgate Abbey. Could'a been meditating on the wonders of your rock garden by now.
Jayne: Beats just sittin'.
Wash: It *is* just sitting.
[Simon prepares some bad rice]
River: I don't want it.
Simon: River, you have to eat. It's good. It tastes like...
[Simon samples rice and grimaces]
Simon: It's good.
Jayne: It smells like crotch.
Wash: You know, it's all very sweet, stealing from the rich, selling to the poor...
Mal: Hey. How was your thing?
Inara: As advertised, lots of needles and cold exam tables. I heard you had some excitement.
Mal: Oh, nothin' much, lots of runnin' around, a little gunplay, couple needles.
Simon: Do you remember why we went to the hospital?
River: Is it time to go to sleep again?
Simon: No, mei-mei. It's time to wake up.
Simon: [seeing the others dressed as hospital personnel] Well, if I didn't know better I'd say you all were ready to save some lives.
Zoë Washburne: [after zapping troublesome doctor from behind with defib paddles - deadpan] Clear.
Mal: This is exactly what I didn't want. I wanted simple, I wanted in-and-out, I wanted easy money.
Zoë Washburne: Things always get a little more complicated, don't they, sir?
Mal: Once, just once, I want things to go according to the gorram plan!
Jayne Cobb: Aw hell, if i had wanted schooling, i would have gone to school.