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"Father Ted" Hell (TV Episode 1996) Poster

(TV Series)

(1996)

Quotes

Father Dougal McGuire: That's nearly as mad as that thing you told me about the loaves and the fishes.

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Father Ted Crilly: Did you bring the travel scrabble Dougal?

Father Dougal McGuire: I brought the normal scrabble and the travel scrabble, Ted. The travel scrabble for when we were traveling, and the normal scrabble for when we arrived!

Father Ted Crilly: Good man!

Father Dougal McGuire: Ah, no, wait a minute... now that I think of it I didn't bring either of them! God, I'm an awful idiot!

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Mrs. Doyle: There's always time for a nice cup of tea. Sure, didn't the Lord himself pause for a nice cup of tea before giving himself up for the world.

Father Ted Crilly: No, he didn't, Mrs Doyle!

Mrs. Doyle: Well, whatever the equivalent they had for tea in those days, cake or something. And speaking of cake, I have cake!

[She holds up a cupcake]

Father Ted Crilly: No, thanks, Mrs. Doyle.

Mrs. Doyle: Are you sure, Father? There's cocaine in it!

Father Ted Crilly: WHAT?

Mrs. Doyle: Oh, no, not cocaine. God, what am I on about? No, what d'you call them. Raisins.

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Father Ted Crilly: Dougal, what's so special about July the 19th?

Father Dougal McGuire: I don't now Ted, ya big bollocks.

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Father Ted: Did you bring the travel scrabble Dougal?

Father Dougal: I brought the normal scrabble and the travel scrabble, Ted. The travel scrabble for when we were traveling, and the normal scrabble for when we arrived!

Father Ted: Good man!

Father Dougal: Ah, no, wait a minute... now that I think of it I didn't bring either of them! God , I'm an awful eejit!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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