Fr. Buzz Cagney: You know what I do with $400? I wipe my ass with it.
Father Ted: Good God. And can that still be used as legal tender?
Father Ted: I'm not Santa, infact I'm the opposite of Santa.
Father Dougal: The anti-Santa!
Father Dougal: [at the Airport] I think this is the greatest moment of my life!
Mrs. Doyle: Me too!
Father Jack Hackett: [shouts] Big bras!