Father Ted: [trying to explain himself] I'm not a fascist, I'm a priest. Fascists go round dressed in black telling people what to do, whereas priests... er... More drink!
Colm: I hear your a racist now, Father? Should we all be racist now? What's the Church's position? I'm so busy down on the farm I won't have much time for the ol' racism.
Father Ted: What?
Mrs. Carberry: [wildly gesticulating] Good for you, Father! Good for you! Somebody finally had the guts to stand up and say it! They come over here, after our jobs and our women, fecking Greeks!
Colm: It's not the Greeks, it's the Chinese he's after!
Father Ted: I'm not after the Chinese! I'm not a racist!
Mrs. Carberry: I don't care so long as I can have a go at the Greeks! They're the ones who invented Gayness!
[Ted is trying to explain that he isn't a racist, by buying drinks for Chinese men. He raises his glass]
Father Ted: To China!
Chinese man: [raising his glass] To Craggy Island!
Father Ted: More drink!
Bar tender: I'm sorry, the bar's closed.
Father Ted: How about we all go back to my place for a drink?
Father Dougal: Wait, I need to go to the toilet first.