Fantasy Island (TV Series) God Child/Curtain Call (1983) User Reviews

OH, NO! It's the dreadful F.I. theater and that funny-faced kid!

[imdb-25288 · 3/10 · 24 October 2022]

I am so tired of the Fantasy Island repeat sets, but I especially HATE the F. I. theater, a farce of a set with a tiny stage. You mean to tell me that these people paid $50,000 just to rehearse in that miserable stage without an audience?! Yep, folks: we've seen this same fantasy over & over & over again. And every single episode showing the dreadful F. I. stage is more awful than the other!

Couldn't these people rent their local town's theater's stage for a couple hours? Surely that'd have been cheaper than $50K!? But nope. Forget going back in time to discover Jack the Ripper's secret indentity or playing Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid. Nope. These folks shelled out their life savings like the old coots they are, just to act like fools in the world's tiniest stage! If only Imogen Coca had worn her spun milkweed dress with the wings and gone "Ti-ti-ti-ti!!" as she took flight!

Then we have nepotism in action, when a 10 1/2 yr old Tori Spelling shows up for one of the worst storylines ever! This has to be the most dreadful Fantasy Island episode ever. Badly lit, slow paced, poor production values and an annoying child actress, if there ever was one! Who cares what happens to her and the God pretender.

Highlights of the show: George Kennedy as God calling Tori Spelling "funny-faced" and even singing a song to her about her funny face. Ricardo Montalban looking mortified as Mr. Roarke is made to sing, which he does... very badly! And a puppy drinking water out of a bowl is the best part of the show.

alarming amount of singing

[mikeholmes-48012 · 5/10 · 19 March 2016]

In what seems to be a Barrage of the Cozi channel playing season 7 love episodes, here is a refreshing change. It's not neccassarily a love episode as in a couple reuniting and all that crap, but its close. A all to familiar topic in season 7 is some type of entertainer who wants to reunite with some past friends/loves but something is keeping that from them. Case in point yet again, tonight Milton Berle is a guy who does stage performances and seems to recollect him self being awesome lately. A neat flashback Scooby Doo thing for 1984 shows him in his element in Las Vegas where no one likes his show and are not paying attention to it, but he recalls it as being great. As his two former vaudeville partners show up, you realize they stink too, but don't say it or admit it. Not sure which, this story was uninteresting and lost me as i found myself piddling on my smart phone during it.

So they reunite but they Hate Milton Berle and fall apart. Eventually they come together when Berle does his one man show that will suck, gives a speech about missing them like hte audience should care, and then the two show up and start dancing with him and doing some stupid song , like the audience should care but they are lapping up that vaudeville crap like morons. Tapping your feet and waving a hat around, singing some stupid song about how you're singing a song and waving your hat around, stupid. I recall Mr Rourke playing a grand piano and singing , it may have been for this story. It was so odd, bizarre and shocking , my mind can't process i saw it and i'd like to re watch it but erased it on my DVR.

So other story is a young brown haired, Tori Spelling whose head looks slightly big for her body but not as bad as it will get, who wants to meet God to ask why her parents died in a car crash. So she immediately does what i would do and asks Rourke "why did my parents die in a car crash". Hes like God is somewhere else and where you least expect and I'm like groaning cause its so unbiblical (I'm Christian, sorry) and then she stumbles across George Hamilton who has a nice Don Johnson stubble going on and is living in a cactus like plantation. so he agrees he is god and tells her to come back when he thinks of an answer cause it's like really hard to think of it (a little sign scruffy George Hamilton isn't God and is faking ). So she comes back, and this and that happens, i m not paying attention, and long story short, they end up back on the island together and a older man and a 10 year old is cool in the 80's from what i remember but not now so it looks creepy. So he tells her God wanted her parents cause he needs help with stuff up there (not biblical) and she feels good and they decided to dance and he plays with her face and then he sings to her. Its like my 5 year anniversary today. If you told me i'd be ending the night writing a Fantasy Island review of George Kennedy singing to a real young Tori Spelling with brown hair, id be like "probably". He called Tori Spelling "Funny Face" and then left her. I found that interesting.

So everyone was happy, the stupid group of entertainers left together. TOri Spelling left without George Kennedy who went on to look for his real daughter instead of live with her like she wanted, and Mr Beleveder gave his nice British like wave to all leaving.